“Up” Your Convivial Game: Part II
Decision Two: Make time to dream, to work, to write (or whatever your genius is)
There were plenty of strategic decisions which led me to decide on and make the transition from Convivial Society to The Convivial Woman. In today’s blog post, I discuss part dieux in this three-part series…
I’ll say it time and time again…it all starts with a feeling. When it’s something that you need to do, must pay attention to, if you’re not consciously doing it on your own, life will take the initiative for you and send signs, people, and even unexpected circumstances to get your attention to call you to action.
If you aren’t privy to the fact that I’ve been raising little warriors since November 2007, well, there you have it- I’m a mom. For the first year of my son’s lives, I socialized them in playgroups, did storytime and enrolled them in sing along classes, and we all made new connections and went home tired and happy. However, each night, when the moon hung high in the sky and all members of my family were sound asleep, Cheryl- the girl, the writer, the woman, the individual- would come out to play. She was always the hardest one to put to bed. I was playing creator and toiling with this idea of a Convivial Society, writing incognito for just family and close friends and when I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer, I’d surrender to sleep.
“The real secret of creativity is to go back and remember…” -Twyla Tharp
Motivation is a very personal thing and no one had me doing what I was doing at 1 in the morning- benchmarking, reading for inspiration, writing, finding my voice, preparing to build an online presence,and simply exploring new online worlds to assist me in creating my own. I had this need to express myself, just as every human on earth does, and I wanted to share my heart, my art, in the form of writing. A new dawn would come and I’d go out and socialize some more and still, each night, return to my origins and write. For what? For who? For me. That’s where and with whom it all begins.
I was committed and consistent and went public with my writing at www.ConvivialSociety.com in April 2010. When I hit the “Publish” button for the first time and shared the news with my personal network, I felt completely vulnerable and exposed, but it was necessary to do as a way to continue cultivating my own interests and expressing myself as an individual.
Avoid the temptation of anything other than the 5 essentials: Food, Exercise, Sleep, Solitude, Writing
My social calendar was never without somewhere to go or something to do, but eventually, my desire for solitude became so strong that I felt the need to pull away and change up my routine. I wondered if something was wrong with me. I had my moments when I wouldn’t go out, but still the lure of it all- the invitations out, the lunches, dinners, quick getaways for dessert and coffee- was so enticing yet the need to adhere to a creative ritual gnawed at me. I didn’t want to say yes to someone and risk not being fully present in my interaction with them, therefore it was better to say yes to myself and rely on faith that my needs would be respected and understood. But I wasn’t always as disciplined and true to myself and I wasn’t always understood.
“Oh Salvador, now, you know the truth; that if you act the genius, you will be one.” -Salvador Dali, diary inscription at 16 years of age
There comes a time when you need to put yourself first; even when you think you don’t know, you know what needs to be done. It’s simply a matter of making it your priority. I was often reminded of an old college friend and how he’d handle staying focused on his studies when the party invitations and guilt from friends for not hanging out would come his way. He’d say, “When school is in, I’m in. When school is out, I’m out.” But how do you explain that concept when you’re not in traditional school, but on a mission to school yourself in non-traditional ways? Bottom line, you don’t have to explain yourself and you’ll figure out who is in your corner as soon as you start getting serious about your art and the time you need to create it. It’ll be intimidating at first, but if you stick with it, you’ll surprise yourself.
The more I made my dreaming a priority and said yes to what nurtured me, the solitude and room to create, the more things clicked. I was able to feel honored by the invitations and still say “No, thank you,” and venture elsewhere on my own. This time alone was spent doing all that was needed to create the world of The Convivial Woman as you see it now.
“All art calls forth art. When we say ‘I am,’ those around us speak up. Some will say, ‘I always knew you were.’ Some will say, ‘I am too.'” -Julia Cameron
Like any coming out process, it’s a rough transition, but well worth it. As I made changes to up my convivial game, I understood that I had to allow everything around me to change as well. If you want to transcend your current place, you have to extend beyond your ordinary limits and relinquish attachment to the way things have been and the way they are now.
When you make decisions to be true to you, there is always a guarantee of threatening the status quo, of what is known and understood, but creatives are defiant like that. They are turned on by what is possible and venture out on their own if need be to discover it for themselves. It’s highly ambitious behavior to create worlds of your own, but what results is enlightenment and fulfillment with one’s own decisions and life. You’ll also find when you make room to dream, fellow dreamers will show up to encourage you on your path. We’re all in this together.
So if you feel the pulse of creativity (I know you do), whatever your genius may be, (you ARE a creative person) then take a big step forward, upward and outward, and do it. But clear your calendar first! If only for a brief moment in time.
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To learn more about the work I do and how it can benefit you on your path to breaking free from self-limitation and finding what your soul needs creatively, check out my 1 on 1 strategizing sessions.
