6 Convivial Tips To Bounce Back From Rejection
“People will forget what you say, what you do, but they never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
Rejection…being judged…it happens to us all.
I’ve certainly had my fair share of rejection. Like these moments in particular…
I’m in New York at a conference that promotes authenticity, love, and support for your fellow woman in business. After the first night’s activities, I get invited to have dinner with some women whose work I love and support, then get disinvited. GASP! You heard right. I was invited, then later told I was not invited. Apparently one gal wanted me there, the others didn’t. Ouch. My ego is suddenly in critical condition. I swallow my pride and accept that my convivial nature is not welcomed by everyone who is to be seated at the table that evening. As I pick up the pieces of my rejected heart, my opinion of those allegedly admirable business women is now tarnished.
Friend asks me (in a slightly irritated tone) about a project I’m working on and when I respond enthusiastically about my new passion at play, her response is a slight roll of the eyes and a less than stellar, “Oh.” No lighting right back up with me. No further inquiry. Bummer.
I offer to take my husband some lunch and decide to stop at a fast food place where one of his relatives works- I figure I’ll surprise her too with a greeting!. I see her making a sandwich as I stand and wait by the register for her to look back. As she turns, I wave with a huge smile and she gives me a look like, “Ugh…Her.” Huh? Tsk…tsk…tsk…I can’t win them all, because they’re not all convivial.
And this one’s my favorite.
I’m in 3rd grade, new girl in school, and the little Puerto Rican boy the kids called, Papo takes a good look at me and says, “You’re cute…except for that missing tooth right there in front.” Damnnnn. Burn. Some moments turn out to be endearing. Some moments…
Feel my pain? Of course you do. Getting dissed is a universal thang!
Don’t worry, just keep a look out for those double rainbows out there…
and remember: All we need is love– along with these
6 Tips to Bounce Back in the Face of Rejection
1. (Once it happens) Take a step back. Breathe.
2. Evaluate your intentions with this person or consider the depth of the pending, potential relationship you’re pursuing with them.
3. Consider what you’re really seeking from them.
4. Gauge it’s worth or relevance to your world.
5. Determine if you are being guided by your heart or your ego. Then…
6. Remember who you are and don’t dare let anyone make you feel as if you don’t matter. Your company may not be for everyone, but no one has the right to make you feel inferior, inadequate, or unequal to them. Just move on. If they aren’t paying your bills, then don’t pay them any attention.
When I had that dinner invitation taken back from me, instead of feeling sorry for myself or believing there was something wrong with me, I danced the night away on an imaginary dancefloor with Cee-Lo singing “Fuck You” and thought to myself, They are no more important or better than I am. Just then, I started break dancing and threw myself onto the floor and did the helicopter.
Ha! In my dancer’s dreams! For the record, I’ve never been able to breakdance except for maybe The Worm. Actually, what I did was, I went straight to the core of who I am to remember my value and worth as an individual. It wasn’t easy, but that’s what I did. Then, I took an inventory of the people in my life who accepted and loved me completely. The next day, I felt my feet more firmly planted on the ground.
It’s great to stay positive, but even better to be realistic…
and privy to the fact that people will throw the word authentic around, and sing One Love and Kumbaya, but the moment will come for them to show you who they really are, so heed the advice of Maya Angelou and believe them.
You don’t have to like everyone and not everyone will like you. I still work through my own understanding of this.
Not everyone is going to like me?! Yes, it has been proven.
The jabs and punches from the world are potentially unlimited, especially if you’re walking you’re own path, but as long as you remember that you’re convivial just the way you are and surround yourself with people who believe that too, you’ll bounce back in no time.
Peace out.
