Convivial Women
My New York Minute: Day One
I’ve stopped to take a break in the Financial District to rest a bit and write.
So, I’ve finally made it to New York. It’s big, it’s sweet, and I’m definitely gonna take a bite outta this Big Apple.
Day 1
Took an early flight. As the plane’s engine was revving up for take off, I peered out the window to see the airplane’s wings and thought, “Let’s do this!” Then…I fell asleep.
When the captain announced it would soon be time to land, I felt the plane start to descend, so I decided to open up my window pane and just as I did, my eyes were greeted by the beauty of (more…)
TweetA Rich Happy & Hot November (Audio File)
Get me a ticket for an airplane! Ain’t got time to take a fast train…lonely days are gone…I’m a comin’ up!
I’ll be trekking all the way from Texas to the Big Apple to attend the Business and Lifestyle event, Rich Happy & Hot LIVE with Marie Forleo!
I didn’t win the contest but I’m still going to be part of this amazing event. To get more details on how I went from dreaming about being there to making it a reality, check out the following convivial audio file!
LISTEN HERE
Cheers to going for what you want!
XO Cheryl Chavarria XO
TweetSelf-Definition: Choose Your Mirrors Wisely
An excerpt taken from Walking In This World by Julia Cameron:
“All of us are creative. Some of us get the mirroring to know we are creative, but few of us get the mirroring to know how creative. What most of us get is the worried advice that if we are thinking about a life in the arts, we’d better plan to have “something to fall back on.” Would they tell us that if we expressed an interest in banking?
It could be argued that as people and as artists, we are what we are- however, we also become ourselves, all of ourselves, by having our largeness mirrored back to us.
I think of a scene from the Disney version of Cinderella, when the heroine sees herself in the dress for the first time and realizes she is a beauty…There is a magical “click” of recognition when the looking glass says back,
Yes, we are what we dream.
Too often we lack such mirrors and such transforming moments. No magic wand taps our life to make us into what we dream. Like Rumpelstiltskin, the artist most frequently has to name himself.
“I am an artist”- a filmmaker, a composer, a painter, a sculptor, an actor, or something {a convivial woman}- something the outer world has yet to acknowledge.”
(more…)
Complimentary Gift For You!
An open invitation to any woman who wants to know her power, act more confidently, and live more convivially…
FREE INSPIRATIONAL DOWNLOAD FOR YOU!
Last year on my 30th birthday, I was inspired to be the giver vs. receiver of gifts. Such an act of pure selflessness gave me a great sense of what it means to be convivial and has served as a lasting memory for me and those who celebrated with me.
I’ve decided to make it a yearly ritual and this year’s birthday present has your name on it!
I’m deeply grateful for all the support and love you have shown Convivial Society, so here’s some love right back at ya!
Download your FREE COPY of
THE CONVIVIAL WOMAN: A Declaration Of Who You Are (more…)
The Convivial Woman Photography Project
This is the start to my newest creative adventure and its my deep longing to give women yet another reason to radiate, to smile, to laugh, to be the center of attention, and have all eyes on them.
I’m calling it The Convivial Woman Photography Project and the fun is just beginning! My plan is to provide a space that will encourage each woman’s convivial spirit to find freedom in the moment, in front of my camera, and come out to play. With the click of a button, I capture her spirit forever.
I don’t have a set idea on how many women I’ll photograph, but they’re lining up and I’ll have to let pure inspiration lead the way and see what happens. When all is said and done, my purpose is to ask every woman this question:
How do you want to be remembered?
We can choose to answer in many ways, but how often do we choose to answer it in the form of a photo shoot? This is the opportunity and experience I want to give.
So! To introduce my first Convivial Woman, I photographed my long-time friend and once upon a time colleague in the world of Finance, Maribel. She’s a born and bred Dallas girl, mother of two beautiful children, devoted family member, extremely hard-working and the best confidant a girl could have. She’s got the most gentle of hearts and I’ve gotta pimp this message out to the world when I say she has massive brainpower! When I’m stuck and need a good brainstorming session, she’s my go-to girl. When I’m with her, I can be myself 100%. We all need those women in our lives! Last but not least, I gotta say…she eats her food in the cutest of ways. No really, it’s a joy to watch her begin a meal.
Without further delay, Get access to her photo shoot by clicking on the album below. Go ahead…you know you want to!
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| Convivial Woman Photography Project |
The Definitive Regal Chic Brunch
Recently, I was inspired to put on the ritz in the form of a Regal Chic brunch for my girlfriends. There was no exceptional reason for the occasion other than my desire to spoil the women in my life and give them an experience they wouldn’t forget. How many women want to be spoiled? Raising my hand! But, how often do women spoil each other? It’s all about letting love get the best of us and spreading the joy. I gave my friends one month’s notice to mark their calendars for the event; told them to save the date and gave no inkling of what to expect. Little by little, a vision for the event began to reveal itself to me and with each new inspiring thought, I took to the stores and prepared for the big day. Initially, it was suppose to be a convivial day spent with just my friends, but then the whole life coaching with Lisa Carmen came about, and I began to think about challenging myself in ways I hadn’t before, so I chose to treat the brunch as a mini-workshop. It was an opportunity to take my efforts to empower and inspire women offline and stand before them in person. I was nervous about what I would do, what I would say, how the whole presentation aspect of the event would flow, but I decided to take the risk, to face any fears that might surface and put myself out there in a new way. It was time to take the stage.
When the day came and all was set to go, I felt my power coming through for me like a dear friend. I was no longer worried about what could go wrong or what I could miss saying to get my desired message across, and I especially wasn’t listening to the voice within saying, Who do you think you are doing this…What gives you the right to stand before a group of women and want to empower them…You don’t have anything valid to say…blah blah blah. I decided to let my heart lead the way and surrendered my desire for complete control. What a relief it was to be a follower! I felt such confidence as everything slowly came together. My guests began to show up and wanted to offer a helping hand, but I smiled and said, “I’ve got it covered. Just enjoy yourself today.” It felt wonderful to serve others, to offer all the love in me without any conditions, any expectations of getting payback.
When all was said and done, the event was a hit! I allowed the weight of the world to fall off my shoulders, thus creating a similar atmosphere for the women in my company. We had entered into a Convivial Society and anything was possible. I saw joy, expressions of pure elation, witnessed the little girl in every woman playing and giggling as they participated in the meal and activities. I felt light on my feet, formless, as if only my spirit walked around overseeing the event. I believe that’s what truly happened. My mother was my right-hand woman in bringing it all to fruition and I couldn’t have thought of anyone better to choose as my partner. By taking on the challenge to stand before friends as The Convivial Woman, I had stepped into a new realm. I had taken the idea of a Convivial Society and turned it into a real place, a real moment, for real women. I can only move forward from this point on and the ideas for more events are making their way to the forefront of my mind’s eye. Creation…it’s quite the beauty to experience. Fear or no fear, I’m wide awake and behind this wheel now…there’s no turning back.
Feast your eyes on the brunch pictures by clicking directly on the album below.
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| The Definitive Regal Chic Brunch |
Convivial Cameo: White Hot Interview with Danielle LaPorte
Coming to the stage is my one and only white hot love Danielle LaPorte, creator of the site White Hot Truth. Danielle hails from Vancouver, BC (ehhh) and is one bad mama rocking her business and inspiring legions of other women and men to do the same. Danielle is no one-trick pony. She’s a strategic and intuitive business advisor, fiery and inspirational speaker, creator of one of the coolest note card lines on the web, and mama writer and design mastermind behind the recently launched and amazingly successful Fire Starter Sessions: A Digital Experience for Entrepreneurs.
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I’d say her Fire Starter Sessions book is one of the most innovative and brilliant contributions to the online business world yet and its no wonder she’s experienced such acclaim and success thus far. I had the pleasure of meeting Danielle at her Fire Starter Session in Austin, Texas last September and experienced the presence of a woman standing in her current power, setting the stage for truth and authenticity. As an entrepreneurial writer mama who wants to rock her creative bottom line as well, I’m all over anyone who can dish some damn good wisdom and be straight up real with me when I need it most. Danielle is of that divine feminine tribe and I’m dancing and chanting words of wisdom alongside her, always wanting more to fuel the convivial flame that burns within me. As part of my intention and desire to keep the circle of influence and power burning bright from one convivial woman to another, I’m here to let you know Danielle speaks to me…deeply, and now, literally. I hope she strikes a cord within you too. It’s all about passing the torch, baby. Enjoy the interview!
The idea behind Convivial Society is “Know Your Power. Live Your Life.”
When did you become fully aware of your power? What has it taken for you to reach that breakthrough point?
I’ve always been aware of my energy, a fire in my heart…my love and intellect. But it’s been the stretches of life that have shown me its full flavour. I forget who said this: “People are like tea bags, you don’t know how strong they are until they’re in hot water.” It’s been the hot water of business divorce, juggling a wonderful kid with a fabulous career, romantic heart break…you know, the big passages that have shown me my power. And I know it when I see it because it’s gentle and generous.
In what ways do you see women giving up their power and how do you keep yours burning white hot?
We keep our mouths shut. We let logic eclipse emotion. We apologize for wanting what we want the most. Of course, none of this is women-specific, but we do have a knack for getting in the back seat.
How do I keep my fire burning? I treat my home like it’s a temple. I eat a lot of spinach. I hang out with really solid, happy people who are interested in really living. I have a great Buddhist shrink whose main tool is compassion. I don’t apologize for what I want. I get off on being generous. I make time for pedicures.
As you’ve said, “Everything is progress,” and “I wish I would’ve had someone to tell me what the fuck to do,” so how does a woman who knows her power steer the wheel when she doesn’t always know the way?
Just keep driving. You can’t really know where you’re going, but you can be wide awake at the wheel and fuel up when you need to.
As hot as you are, how do you tame those wild things called “Vices” and “Distractions” to stay a glow over the beds of hot coal you consistently walk?
What are vices?
The evolution of a woman’s body is a tricky and sensitive thing. When time between bike rides lapses, how does the voice whispering to your heavenly body sound? What does she say when things don’t all feel so put together anymore? Or when you’ve had one too many (fill in the blank)?
Too many…squares of milk chocolate…or late nights…or days without moving.
This is a big one for me. I spent most of my life in my head, and thanks to a good metabolism, that worked out okay.
My bod’ is my new frontier, the next power source for me to FINALLY plug into. And I’m doing it and loving it.
Yoga, dancing, breathwork. New world of gratitude. I’m going to be one of those conversion stories.
You give much praise to the book The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp. What’s your everyday creative habit/ritual that keeps the flow coming so often? What other books concerning women and creative, convivial living have a permanent place on your bookshelves?
My creative habits: write freehand (not on the computer); pay attention to the first thoughts I have in the morning; rock out – music is my elixir.
Books: Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes is a MASTERPIECE and every woman should read it three times. I think The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron is a classic for good reason. And most everything Pema Chodron has put out has an amazing clarity to it.
So many women play small at times for the sake of others. Would you say you’ve mastered your height and when you feel yourself shrinking within, how do you combat that?
I still shrink. First thing I do is NOT condemn myself for shrinking. I try to be incredibly friendly with the part of me that shrank. And then I can hear what that part needs to say. And what a gift that is.
I’ve also learned to sleep on it when I feel some shrink action about to happen. Be still. Stand tall(er) tomorrow.
What are you willing to go to the ends of the earth to tell your fellow woman about money, the company she keeps, and rocking her talents?
I’m not really willing to go to the ends of the earth to tell people anything. I used to want to be a Messiah, now I’m more interested in being a reporter/Priestess. But I get the spirit of the question… What I want to say is this: You know. You know what you want and who you are. You. Know.
Mmm…Mmm…Mmm…Convivial.
If you liked it and want some more of it, check out
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Ever yours,
Cheryl Chavarria
TweetFreewriting Episode 1: Life Coaching Escapades
As of July 8th, I began work with life coach, Lisa Carmen of the site SacredSexyU.com. I don’t believe Lisa has crossed my path by accident. The day her and I met, she asked me some unexpected questions that tapped into my psyche and caused a commotion of emotions within me. It was then that I knew she had a gift and I needed it. People always talk talk talk about what they need to change, but don’t take any action to do so. Well, I’m people and I want to change, so I let Lisa know I was interested in her work. That can go either way, depending on how full of shit I am. She wrote me back an email that was full of excitement and anticipation and said, “I would LOVE to work with you! When?”
Ooh…specifics…getting to the nitty gritty…a concrete commitment. I could have chickened out and made up tons of excuses, but something in me reached out to her and something else in me said the time to woman up and take action was upon me, as in NOW. I want to get down to the bottom of why I do certain things I do and I want to improve on what I think is hindering me from being 100% convivial. So just as the day I lost my virginity went, I said, “Let’s do this!” Proof, that even today, I’m still trying to experience my nature. Life coaching with a burlesque dancer is the latest way for me to go about it. I want to share this whole experience, be as open about it as I can (and let me say, that is not an easy for me) but the time has come. This is where I’m at right now in the journey, so bear with me if it’s not all complete or the thoughts don’t seem organized.
Lisa’s asking me some challenging questions (this is a great thing!) and I’m feeling lots of emotions swirl around within me and it can feel frustrating when I don’t know why I am feeling a certain way – like all this impatience I have been experiencing this week, but I know it’s all a work in process like me. I’m going to get to the point of change I seek. I know it. The coaching will last for 3 months which breaks down to two personal sessions a month, and in between we’ll spend time online or on the phone talking about what’s happening with me as I work through some unfavorable idiosyncrasies I’m known for, don’t really understand myself, and want to overcome.
Here’s one peculiarity I’m calling out from the shadows: My discomfort with being celebrated. This is not ironic timing since my birthday is in one month. Can you believe it? Me, The Convivial Woman, feels funny about being celebrated. Haha funny joke there. No, really. I feel strange being the center of attention.
I recently saw New Moon and in the beginning, Bella receives an unwrapped gift from her father and is getting occasional birthday wishes from her friends at school and she’s trying to quiet them and go incognito as the birthday girl. Edward finally asks her, “Why don’t you want people to know it’s your birthday?” She says, “I don’t like to be celebrated.” Bam! That resonated deep within me. But is it true? No, not at all. But what I’m trying to figure out is if it’s an insecurity or a personality trait of mine or perhaps thoughts related to a negative experience from my childhood that I just need to overcome. If my ego wants to have a say in the matter, it’ll deny any insecurity and continue playing the tough girl role, but I’m trying to really get down to the bottom of this sentiment.
You see, birthday’s deal with me being the center of attention, in the spotlight, all eyes on me. That day is all about me, me, me, me. It’s my day and as a woman, well, I’ve heard the message plenty of times that it’s not suppose to be all about me; I’m suppose to be concerned with others, what they think of me, how they see me, feel around me, be nice when others aren’t so nice. I’m definitely thinking that growing up in a religion my parents chose for me which didn’t allow us to celebrate birthdays plays a role. I couldn’t even tell you what the reasoning was behind that form of deprivation, because even at 7 years old when we first converted, my little girl mind couldn’t understand how God would be pleased with me if I ignored the day I was born, the day I came into this world to share my gifts. News flash! I’m not in that religion anymore nor religious for that matter. Can you blame me?! I’m not into playing that game of my god against your god, my god is better than your god. What I learned is true is this: Religion divides / Spirituality unites. I’d rather be united.
Let me tell you about this one time when I was 8 years old and my family was the newbie family to Chicago. I had a friend, Diana down the street who was going to have an afterschool birthday cake in her honor. Nothing major, real nonchalant and low key the celebration. I wanted to go! Why? Because she was my friend and I was invited! So I braved the potential rejection and asked my mother if I could attend and sure as night and day, she said, “You know we don’t celebrate birthdays because it’s against our religion.” I was persistent and thought of a compromise to see if I could get what I wanted and said, “Oh mom, please please can I go? I promise I won’t sing Happy Birthday to her!” Cleverly, I thought, if I could convince my mom that I was being obedient to God by not truly participating, but still being there, I wasn’t sinning.
Tell me you’re mouth is gaping wide open from the shock of such a crazy story! It still boggles my mind how people can think they’re doing right by their kids and what they’re really doing is teaching them to withdraw from life, because there’s another world post-death that we should prepare for. Forget living in this world right now! That IS what happened to me a lot- I withdraw from life, because I wasn’t enough of a fighter, because girls aren’t encouraged to fight. Or they’re not suppose to, right? For the record, my mother and father aren’t in that religion any longer and those experiences are the butt of all my family jokes. Vengeance is mine! My mother regrets what she calls her naivete combined with her desire to save her children from the perils of hell (my translation: from the joys of truly living).
Anyway, I’m all over the place mentally these days and can’t process all of what’s floating around in my head, but I can say that this life coaching experience is the beginning to so much more for me. It’s going to really get me past some weird stuff that’s been causing me to hold back all these years, I’ve already taken on three new challenges and the whole purpose is to really know and therefore act on the power that lives within me. FYI: This was suppose to be a little snippet of my experience thus far, but it looks like there’s a storm of change brewing and I couldn’t stop typing! It’s all good.
CHALLENGE and CHANGE go hand in hand. What are some of the challenges you’re facing? What actions are you taking to overcome them?
TweetForget Judgment. Go for Criticism.
This morning, I woke up to a message from Paulo Coehlo in my newsfeed and this is what he had to say:
Try to be “good”, you’ll be judged. Try to be yourself, you’ll be criticized. Better to choose the second option and move ahead; God will never let you down.
Oomph! Talk about an arrow shot straight to my heart. I have experienced enough judgment to validate this quote. In the not so distant past, trying to be “good” has caused me to hold back, miss out, not dare as much, play small, and worst of all, repress my true strengths at key moments. I’m remembering the guy who came to my friend’s home to install her house alarm and shared some unexpected wisdom when he said, It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission. I thought, Damnit! Why didn’t I learn that sooner! I recalled all the times I’d bowed my head, surrendered my position, didn’t stand up to injustice, and compromised my heart’s desire for what was seemingly best for me, what others thought I wasn’t ready for, or what they didn’t want for me altogether. I was too good for my own damn good. Good was on my parent’s agenda, greatness was on mine, however I didn’t want to disappoint them and chose to be the one disappointed because that’s what good girls do. Sure it was my life, but I wasn’t suppose to fully live it, because I would be judged if what I chose to do didn’t “look right” in someone else’s eyes. What matters is what looks and feels right in my eyes and in my heart. That is the message to share!
I fell prey to the idea that I should concern myself with others judging my actions and choice of lifestyle. Gasp! What are they going to say about you? Realization! Who the hell are these others and what are they doing to ensure my happiness? Honestly, I wasn’t worried about what people thought or what they would say, but I wasn’t courageous enough to go against the grain…THEN. Where there’s a will, there’s usually a relative, or a thought imposed on you by some relative, but with enough courage and conviction, your will can prevail. Many women choose good over great, but there’s always opportunity to go from good to GREAT and wake up to new, inspiring messages, new influences within our social networks, whether online or in person, and the knowledge we get is there to help recondition thoughts that serve to hinder our spirit from truly flourishing. Flourishing is our nature and as another influential male in my past once said, Don’t hold back your nature. Clever boy. Be open and ready to change, to respond, and soon you’ll forget judgment and be more willing to go for criticism. It’s in you to fully express who you are and what you really want.
TweetMake the Given Effort
Ever feel like you’re in between two worlds with one foot ready to kick the next door down? It’s kinda like your own version of a Groundhog Day. Been there, felt that! But I haven’t bought the t-shirt yet. With all the angst and uncertainty surrounding this hot spot, it’s not exactly the best feeling nor ideal place to be, and as the stumbling-every-which-way humans that we are, we’re bound to book a few return trips. If you have yet to arrive, wherever your chosen destination, whatever your chosen vocation may be, what are you doing right now to get there? If you’re short on answers, forget worrying as much about the how or the when and get to work finding the who and the what that will get you to the where. When headed for an unknown place, somewhere you’ve never been, didn’t expect to travel to, or never imagined going, its certain your emotional compass will go haywire, directions will seem contradicting just as the route may appear a tortuous one, but don’t worry, you’re not alone and you’ll make it through. We all share the same road, see the same signs, however if we pay close enough attention, we’ll interpret distinct messages that can lead us down our individual paths. Finding is about refining…you. So, give yourself that chance, that time and effort to get back to or better get to know you. Peel back those layers. Pull up that hair. Take a good look. Be impressed. Cry it out. Breathe her back to life. Then be amazed. Your experience is what you make it, so go ahead and wipe away the excess everything that means and brings nothing to the core of you. Purging brings forth the new, but in this case, shedding the current skin allows for the rebirth of your original self. With a spirit as fierce and limitless as yours, its never too late to put your will behind the wheel and steer it. Experience the place that is meant for you. Happiness isn’t an effort, it’s a given.
TweetA Force to be Reckoned With
I find myself reading a brief, well-written biography on the notorious tattoo artist of the popular TLC show L.A. Ink, Miss Kat Von D. It seems more like the foreword on a book. As I read the piece, written by a close friend, what stood out to me most was when the writer mentioned how Kat was “incredibly loyal to her family.” Instantly, I could relate and found something in common with the beauty. She’s not your everyday girl, choosing the body she was born with as her art canvas-something many people wouldn’t comprehend or agree with- and being of somewhat Latino descent, as well as beautiful, I couldn’t help but wonder what her family thought of her work- if they saw it as art or if they simply saw a tattooed body. Did they agree with her chosen way of life? I know how my Mexican mother would view her lifestyle, and the assumptions that would be made about her as a person, but I can’t do that. I respect her work, admire her person. The fact that she is spoken of by friends as a dedicated and loyal member of her family, to her family, tells me perhaps that her family may have supported her aspirations all along. What a huge feat for a woman. To go for what she wanted and be fully backed by the members of her tribe. It’s no wonder she has turned out so successfully and my hope is that she is completely happy. It’s funny how people can be hypocritical. They can smile in your face and then when the time comes to offer up an opinion about you, they chicken out and go with the negative flow of thoughts they may have been harboring about you or your lifestyle or even simply the poor choices you’ve made in your life. People don’t deserve to be judged. Women play a huge role in judging others, one another, themselves, and this is because they are constantly under a watchful eye that doesn’t really exist. It’s all in our mind. And the strength of our heart has the power to combat it. If we could break free from concerning ourselves with what others think of us, stop defending who we are and how we want to live our lives, then we can break the cycle of prejudice and put to rest that hurtful voyeur who dwells within. She is not of your true being. Love your fellow woman and support her art. We all have a desire to create. Women, if given the freedom to be who they want to be, can show the world their wonders. Our place as the bearers of life to this dependent, ever evolving mother earth proves we are the epitome of creativity and a force of nature to be reckoned with.
TweetEmbrace Your Inner Girl
Source: Uploaded by user via Kaylan on Pinterest
I’m capable of telling it like it is and capsizing boats that merit sinking, but I haven’t always gone “there” for fear of how I might be perceived or no longer received. GASP. An image-conscious, convivial woman?
I wish I could say it isn’t so, but it’s one of the biggest challenges for women (raising my hand) to overcome before reaching
The convivial promise land of “This is who I am, this is how I live…take it or leave it.”
Thankfully, we have a TED talk like the one given by Eve Ensler, creator of The Vagina Monologues (pictured above) to remind women how important it is to (more…)
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