Convivial Women
America The Beautiful: America The Beauty Obsessed
I just finished watching the documentary, America The Beautiful, and am grateful to director, Darryl Roberts for offering such a memorable experience for me, a woman, who thankfully feels extremely appreciative of her body and how its served her in life. I highly recommend this film and hope its message reaffirms the love you have within for your mind, body and soul. Be good to yourself and love who you are just as you are.
To learn more about the film, read the synopsis here and check out this trailer:
Mature Beauty
Mature beauty stems from woman’s sense of personal authority and the richness of her life. The mature erotic woman possesses the quality of inner harmony that communicates a sense that she is at ease with herself. Obviously she cares about her health and good grooming, but she has clearly found a style that suits her. She exhibits a flair for vibrant and sensual colors, and the cut of her clothing compliments her feminine curves, but does not scream, “look at my body parts.” Most importantly, mature erotic women glow from within. It is this luminosity that is so enormously attractive. Crone women who have continued to grow and are following their personal path of power are truly luminous beings of great worth. This is the promise of mature erotic beauty.
–Source unknown
TweetBroken Heart
I started to listen to Carrie Underwood’s song, Lessons Learned and it made me think about how the only people that have truly broken my heart have been women. I have befriended plenty of women and they have been the one gender I have given my heart and soul to more than men, so there you have the broken heart. Women get into misunderstandings galore and for what? Mostly, I think it’s a matter of unexpressed anger and not our nature. Women are not encouraged to express their feelings when angry. We are known as the nurturing species and have the desire to mend and make better all that is not right. We have the need to talk, to express our feelings, and so when meeting someone, a woman, we look for a connection, a bond, and when we think it’s found or there is potential for one, we open ourselves up. We pour out everything there is inside of us and when heartache occurs, we learn to hold back a little. And if it happens enough, we hold back a lot and offer little to no feeling. But we are a stubborn species too, so we try and trust again, and again and again. Sadly, some women make it to pure bitterness and choose not to make friends with anyone until life sends someone down their path to shake them up a bit, give them a couple of unwanted hugs, some pats on the back, some compliments about how beautiful they look, and they may even just prove to be there when most needed and bitter woman starts to loosen up. Doubt and fear are still key players in the relationship, but without realizing it, they become backups and she begins to warm up to the possibility that hope and love can and do always prevail in relationships. This is life teaching us to stay open, to look for the lessons, to ask for advice when we aren’t sure, to reach out when we feel vulnerable and uncertain about the direction we are going, for whatever signs we need to grow and become stronger. Keep a look out for that woman, or the many women who have your heart, and cherish what they bring to your life. Even if it gets rocky at times, the lessons learned can be precious jewels for you to wear proudly too.
TweetBring Sexy & Dignified Back
Are you aware of your own sexuality, your sexual energy? I think that’s HUGE. That plays the role of knowing how to flirt, how to hit the brakes on a guy who always has his foot on the gas, how to decipher and manage friendships with men, how to put yourself first. Do you preserve the best of you for you alone? Are you selective with who you allow to get close to you, touch you, and see the beauty that is your body? What are your thoughts concerning yourself when it comes to how men see you, how you see men, and how does that affect your demeanor when in a man’s presence? How about a man you desire? I believe a dramatic shift needs to occur among men and women; the way men treat women, the way women let them, teach them to treat them. My ultimate desire is to see more women be bold, project strength, act with dignity and demand respect not by literally demanding it, but by carrying themselves in ways that will indirectly attract it. We all have our weaknesses and it’s a matter of confronting our fears, our weaknesses, and getting the practice we need to turn them into what makes us stronger individuals…women. My hope is to see a reincarnation of the dignified woman. She’s in me, in you, in every one of us.
TweetCan You Say Vagina?
How do you feel about your private part? You know…that place “down there.” Is it easy for you to let the word “vagina” slide off your tongue? How close are you to the most intimate part of your femininity?
I was watching a film recently, V-DAY Until The Violence Stops, which was about the movement against violence against women that evolved as a result of the successes of Eve Ensler’s solo hit off-broadway show, The Vagina Monologues. I wish I could have gone to a show, but at best, I was able to listen to the monologues by audio book while driving my car around Dallas. Occasionally honking at rude drivers while listening to women imitating orgasmic sounds and talking about all the many ways they’d heard their vagina called: coochie, puff taco, chocha, etc. I’m sure you can fill in many more blanks, too.
I watched V-DAY and found myself very emotional and crying occasionally as I heard the stories of women from all over the world experiencing physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual abuse- the most damaging one of all, according to film participant, Salma Hayek. I felt their pain. I felt extremely sad, because women are such beautiful, fragile, and strong creatures, yet that fragility is taken advantage of by many. It’s important to talk about what hurts us, and that is what these women in the video were doing and it touched me. Here is a trailer of the film, V-Day Until the Violence Stops, but if you feel motivated to watch the whole film, do it! There are so many strong women among us needing love and support just as we need it ourselves. Respect and love your vagina, because it is the essence of your womanhood. No one can do anything to you that you don’t allow.
TweetStealing Time
Before I became a mother, I still felt the need to be in many places and serve in many roles for many people, but one thing that I know I’ve always had a strong sense to do is to be there for myself, to make time for me, to love myself in such a way as to make time for my wants, my interests, my needs, etc. Fortunately, I learned at a young age that no one else would do it for me.
As a teenager, I began to travel independent of my parents and never felt homesick. I was on my own and loved the feeling of freedom. Not that my home life was so restrictive, but I just felt this need to be out in the world, running away with the caretaker man, what have you. I knew that when I became a wife, that sense of freedom would not change. My husband would respect my need for independence and space to pursue my interests. Life has certainly brought such a man into my life as well as such experiences. Before I became a mother, I knew that my time would become more important. My child would require my time and attention and I would certainly do my best to make the choices necessary to offer as much of it as possible. I think I have done a pretty good job up to this point and am confident I will only get better with more time and experience as a parent. But before my son came into my life, I told myself that my sense of freedom to be me, to continue learning more about myself and the world and my place in it would not stop just because I now had more responsibilities at home and with family. I would take the time needed for myself when the time came. Guess what? The time has come. I am a wife, a mother, and still an individual woman.
Steal some time away for yourself…there are wonders in the world ready to caress your soul. Being a thief isn’t bad, especially if it causes your heart to slow to a calm beat.
TweetThe Assertive Woman
As of Thursday evening, I reached a certain point on my life’s journey that has proved to be the right path taken. Right now, I can see myself standing on a cliff overlooking the promise land (Convivial Land) of true strength, fearlessness, and total confidence. I attended The Assertive Woman workshop conducted by Sherry Bronson of The Bronson Institute on Thursday and can say that its effects have proven immediate for me. Before I get into what I got out of it, let me just tell you how hard it seemed to get to the class (read: reach my goal/destination).
I almost didn’t make it there! I almost gave up! I almost gave in to my anger and frustration because of all of the small obstacles that were in my way as I attempted to get there. Life was certainly testing the depth of my commitment. Now, about the class…in order to be a confident, assertive woman, you must have these four things down: Self-Love, Self-Respect, Self-Worth, and Self-Image. Undoubtedly, I can say that I have three of the four down. The one that caught my eye and I feel needs work is Self-image. Now, that usually applies to how you feel about your body, everything on the outside, but I related it to my idea of what a woman’s self-image should be…at least, the messages that we have received in society about how women should behave kindly, docile, gentle, non-confrontational, etc., and what I’ve been in conflict about is trying to aspire to have that self-image of kindness yet be strong, firm, and in control of my life.
There have been various experiences in my adolescent years that have contributed to me feeling intimidated to stand up for myself, to speak my truth, but it is finally clicking within me that I do not need to remain intimidated, that I do have the power to be who I really am, in every instance, every circumstance, and with every person. With a conscious change in my perception, I was able to apply my new knowledge of being assertive the very next day. Instead of avoiding scenarios that required assertiveness, I can simply look at them as life presenting me the opportunities to overcome my weaknesses, to face my fears, and to take advantage of situations to practice a different behavior, a more empowering behavior. I am motivated about this new path that I am on. I am already changing and am so excited about this change, because it is a guarantee that I am returning to my origins, I am getting closer to being the woman I already am.
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