Spirituality & Life

Who’s behind that mirror?

Confusing someone else’s insecurities for your own is easy to get caught doing. Keep the mirror on your own image at all times. When you doubt yourself, ask yourself! Asking the opinions of others is good to do, but not when it concerns your own feelings and desires about yourself. Be honest with yourself and give yourself the first chance to have a say in how your life plays out. Others will have their opinions and you can ask for their feedback, but beware (read: be aware!) that they are offering insight based on their own concerns and experiences in life. Trust your own intuition. Take your own advice and THEN get some!

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Spare some Change?

Spare change…we hear it as the folks ring the Salvation Army bells at Christmas time…we hear it from homeless people, the less fortunate…and we only think in terms of money…but what about the literal sense- Can YOU spare some CHANGE? Life Changes? How deep will you dig into your own pockets for that kind of change?

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Choice. Experience. Life.

Everything is our choice…every situation, every person we grant permission to enter and affect our life, is our choice. We choose to be in whatever state of mind we want to be in, and most times, we choose to remain there.

So if it’s a negative or potentially negative experience for you, pay attention to every sign and put a stop to it, leave it, walk away, kill the thoughts you have about it that keep you there, simply change it.

You have the ability and resources to do whatever needs to be done to get to the place you deserve…a state of happiness.

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Speak in declarations. Which is tantamount to living by them. And others will take you seriously, because they know you mean what you say. –The Princessa, Harriet Rubin

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The Order of Love

“If I love myself, I love you. If I love you, I love myself.” – Rumi

In hearing Rumi state this in his poetry, I immediately think of the order in which it was written:

I…love…myself…I…love…you.

I…Myself…You.

There’s no other image reflecting in the mirror but the one of you, therefore the reflection is all yours to consider. Put yourself first and all falls into place. If you love yourself, do for yourself, take care of yourself, live for yourself, then you automatically offer the benefits reaped to the next person, to the world.

Recently, I was chatting with a friend and mentioned I would soon be heading out for a girl’s night out. She later said in conversation,”You know, I wish I could do that,” and confided in me about her desire to have more time for herself, to express herself, time for friends, for new experiences, for joy, all on her own. This sentiment is nothing unique to her. Many people go through this and it all boils down to a personal choice. What you decide you can and want to do in your life is your choice and no one else’s. It’s your call to let someone else make you believe you don’t have a choice in the matter, that you are powerless and must be granted permission to live. No one hinders you from your own joy except yourself. We struggle to please others, to remain obedient and not rock the boat when the opposite is far from disobedience but rather simple pleasures we all deserve to have, to experience, to gather and store in our heart’s memory for later recollection. Is there such a thing as selfish love? Love is pure and true, so when you are simply seeking to be pure and true to yourself, an endeavor that requires your time, energy and attention, what harm does it bring to others or to you? It doesn’t. Ever.

How often do you allow others to impose guilt on you, thus negatively affecting your plans for living? Why do you permit such feelings to permeate your spirit, to grip your anxious wings and hold you down from naturally taking flight? The reasons and excuses aren’t good enough. You deserve to be happy, to be free, to be you, to savor the joys of life, to have friends, to laugh and be carefree, to feel the sense of what it means to be supported and loved. Schedule time for yourself and defend your need for it. There’s nothing to explain, nothing to feel bad about. You were born free-thinking, a free-spirit, and that won’t change. You are free to be whoever you were born to be. Get out of your own way and others will, too.

Experience joy and without effort, you will spread it. The effects of self-love are of epidemic proportions.

To enjoy the full poem read by Demi Moore, click here Rumi – Desire – Demi

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The Assertive Woman

As of Thursday evening, I reached a certain point on my life’s journey that has proved to be the right path taken. Right now, I can see myself standing on a cliff overlooking the promise land (Convivial Land) of true strength, fearlessness, and total confidence. I attended The Assertive Woman workshop conducted by Sherry Bronson of The Bronson Institute on Thursday and can say that its effects have proven immediate for me. Before I get into what I got out of it, let me just tell you how hard it seemed to get to the class (read: reach my goal/destination).

I almost didn’t make it there! I almost gave up! I almost gave in to my anger and frustration because of all of the small obstacles that were in my way as I attempted to get there. Life was certainly testing the depth of my commitment. Now, about the class…in order to be a confident, assertive woman, you must have these four things down: Self-Love, Self-Respect, Self-Worth, and Self-Image. Undoubtedly, I can say that I have three of the four down. The one that caught my eye and I feel needs work is Self-image. Now, that usually applies to how you feel about your body, everything on the outside, but I related it to my idea of what a woman’s self-image should be…at least, the messages that we have received in society about how women should behave kindly, docile, gentle, non-confrontational, etc., and what I’ve been in conflict about is trying to aspire to have that self-image of kindness yet be strong, firm, and in control of my life.

There have been various experiences in my adolescent years that have contributed to me feeling intimidated to stand up for myself, to speak my truth, but it is finally clicking within me that I do not need to remain intimidated, that I do have the power to be who I really am, in every instance, every circumstance, and with every person. With a conscious change in my perception, I was able to apply my new knowledge of being assertive the very next day. Instead of avoiding scenarios that required assertiveness, I can simply look at them as life presenting me the opportunities to overcome my weaknesses, to face my fears, and to take advantage of situations to practice a different behavior, a more empowering behavior. I am motivated about this new path that I am on. I am already changing and am so excited about this change, because it is a guarantee that I am returning to my origins, I am getting closer to being the woman I already am.

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