Forget Judgment. Go for Criticism.
This morning, I woke up to a message from Paulo Coehlo in my newsfeed and this is what he had to say:
Try to be “good”, you’ll be judged. Try to be yourself, you’ll be criticized. Better to choose the second option and move ahead; God will never let you down.
Oomph! Talk about an arrow shot straight to my heart. I have experienced enough judgment to validate this quote. In the not so distant past, trying to be “good” has caused me to hold back, miss out, not dare as much, play small, and worst of all, repress my true strengths at key moments. I’m remembering the guy who came to my friend’s home to install her house alarm and shared some unexpected wisdom when he said, It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission. I thought, Damnit! Why didn’t I learn that sooner! I recalled all the times I’d bowed my head, surrendered my position, didn’t stand up to injustice, and compromised my heart’s desire for what was seemingly best for me, what others thought I wasn’t ready for, or what they didn’t want for me altogether. I was too good for my own damn good. Good was on my parent’s agenda, greatness was on mine, however I didn’t want to disappoint them and chose to be the one disappointed because that’s what good girls do. Sure it was my life, but I wasn’t suppose to fully live it, because I would be judged if what I chose to do didn’t “look right” in someone else’s eyes. What matters is what looks and feels right in my eyes and in my heart. That is the message to share!
I fell prey to the idea that I should concern myself with others judging my actions and choice of lifestyle. Gasp! What are they going to say about you? Realization! Who the hell are these others and what are they doing to ensure my happiness? Honestly, I wasn’t worried about what people thought or what they would say, but I wasn’t courageous enough to go against the grain…THEN. Where there’s a will, there’s usually a relative, or a thought imposed on you by some relative, but with enough courage and conviction, your will can prevail. Many women choose good over great, but there’s always opportunity to go from good to GREAT and wake up to new, inspiring messages, new influences within our social networks, whether online or in person, and the knowledge we get is there to help recondition thoughts that serve to hinder our spirit from truly flourishing. Flourishing is our nature and as another influential male in my past once said, Don’t hold back your nature. Clever boy. Be open and ready to change, to respond, and soon you’ll forget judgment and be more willing to go for criticism. It’s in you to fully express who you are and what you really want.
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