The Convivial Experience of Being an Introvert, or just going solo every now and then
It’s only been in the past three years that I’ve come to realize and embrace my introverted nature. I have my experiences in motherhood and authors like Susan Cain to thank for bringing me to that understanding.
Recently, I went to a bookstore and instinctively reached for this new title
My hand leaped for the book and it proved to be a page turner for me.
Susan Cain’s book and recent TED talk on the subject was equal to her holding up a mirror to all introverts and saying, “You’re right just the way you are…you’ve been right all along.”
The Beauty of Being Alone
When I was 14, I remember I was always the first person to get home. The house was empty, quiet, and still and I felt free to do as I pleased. I could reenact scenes from Working Girl and vacuum naked if I wanted to, though I never did (didn’t have anything to show for at that age anyway!), but there wasn’t anyone there to tell me who and how to be.
I would blast Enigma or Deep Forest throughout the house and to unwind. I’d lay on the floor, spread out as if ready to make snow angels, and close my eyes to savor the music.
This activity allowed me to practice being present in that moment, though at the time I didn’t realize that that’s what I was doing. Therein lies my freedom and joy. Literally.
Just Say No
When I feel my schedule getting overloaded with places to be and people to see, and I’ve not had any time to myself, I start to feel agitated and anxious. If it goes on for too long, watch out, because I get mean.
I used to wonder, “What’s wrong with me?”
After all, who doesn’t want to be active and have a social life? Isn’t being invited out and included in every social event what you want? Yes and NO.
There’s nothing wrong in going with your feeling of wanting to say, “No, thank you” every now and then. Believe it or not, sometimes turning down the hottest party in town to venture off and roam the country roads of Provence via the comfort of your latest fiction read is more appealing.
Such choices don’t make you a social outcast, but an introvert, or just someone who is self-aware and knows what makes them perfectly happy.
I love to gather and connect with other like-minded people, just not every day. Perhaps you’re the same. Keep your life simple so your mind can have the space it needs to create.
Solitude fosters creavity and Creativity feeds off of solitude
Do you feel the need to ponder and develop the ideas in your mind, to release the stresses of your day via some creative self-expressionn? There’s only one atmosphere to do that in and its solitude. Understanding this allowed me to know when to turn down the invitations and pick up the pen to write.
As much as you are conditioned to give to others, putting yourself first is the best thing you can do for you and those in your life. Do you really know that? It’s hard to apply that belief when many are quick to call it selfishness, but if you’ve experienced the joy that comes when taking time for you, to do what pleases you, then I’d call that being nurturing and true to you.
Taking time to think, to read, to write, to create is rejuvenating and necessary.
Since becoming a parent and losing that daily solo time, it’s that much more important for me to schedule time alone, and that must more detrimental to me and my loved ones if I don’t.
When I get time alone to write, or even if its just to peruse a magazine or take in the sights at an outdoor cafe, I come back refreshed and ready to give back to my family. I feel light on my feet. I’ve released all the heaviness within me. I’ve reconnected with me.
Whether you are introvert or extrovert, if you understand these differences in people, you can embrace yourself more and accept and not take personally the decisions of others. There will be more people offering respect and space to one another and that would certainly be a convivial scenario for all involved.
If you’re interested in watching Susan Cain’s TED talk on the very subject of the power of introverts, you can view it here. Her insights brought me warmth, acceptance and peace, as well as tears toward the end.
How often do you take time for yourself and what are the ways in which you like to reconnect with yourself? Share you thoughts in the comments below!
Ciao for now,
spot ON Susan xx Fantastic article xx 😉
30 Apr 12
Thanks Liz, so glad you got some benefit out of what I shared!
30 Apr 12