A Convivial Love Affair

Today marks the 8th Wedding Anniversary for my husband, Martin and I. To commemorate this sacred day, here’s our story…

We met on Halloween Day 1998. I vaguely recall his face, but clearly remember his spirit. It was convivial. Our first dance was to a song called, Oye Mi Amor (Hey My Love) by the Spanish Rock group, Mana. We jumped wildly and danced together while belting out these lyrics: Hey my love…don’t tell me no…let’s get together…and join our souls…join our bodies…

To listen to the full song, CLICK HERE.

I didn’t want to give him my number, because I had strictly gone out that night with the intention to dance my ass off and walk away with the memory of it all. Fortunately, I broke my own rule. Something in him called something in me. It was never about appearances with us, but instead this sense of being high on life and experiencing an energy so contagious that we couldn’t ignore the potential for more opportunities together. I felt light on my feet as I thought

Hmm…he’s interesting…I’m interesting…we could be interesting together.

The chemistry was there from the get-go. I felt extremely vulnerable around him. I’m not someone to open up so quickly, but Martin broke me of that. He could see me in ways I wasn’t ready for him to see. His look was piercing. When we talked, he would stare at me- like, literally, hold his face with one hand and stare at me with a big smile on his face. It was awkward, uncomfortable, and strangely delightful. I felt exposed and his presence was unnerving. Eventually, we left logic by the wayside and allowed the heart to take control of the wheel.

One night after a party, we danced near a fully lit Christmas tree in the vacant parking lot of a small shopping strip. As Martin held me close, he said, “Think of your favorite romantic song and I’ll think of mine. Don’t tell me what it is- let’s just dance to them right here, right now and maybe one day we’ll reveal them to each other…” (Oh God! The sappy inner mean girl in me wants to gag at all this mushy romance stuff. Shush girl!) We weren’t even boyfriend and girlfriend yet, but suddenly

I envisioned him and I dancing on our wedding day.

So I tried to think of my favorite romantic song and Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes rushed to the forefront. What? That can’t be right, I thought. I tried to deny the song, because it seemed Shania Twain’s You’re Still The One or Celine Dion’s Titanic song were more ideal for this request. Neither of those felt right, so I went with my gut and let Peter Gabriel sing in my head as I slow-danced with Martin.

It wasn’t long after that I was driving down the highway and In Your Eyes came on the radio. I’d never paid close attention to the song and was surprised to hear Peter sing these specific lyrics:

In Your Eyes…
The light
The heat
I am complete
I see the doorway
of a thousand churches
the resolution
to all my fruitless searches…

I couldn’t help to think, “Wow…could this guy be the resolution to all my fruitless searches?” After four years of dating, that turned out to be the case.

On December 21, 2002, we experienced a candlelit wedding with all our loved ones present and got this party called “Our Life Together” started. Two days later, we threw our clothes in a suitcase and rushed to catch a plane to Europe where we backpacked to seven cities while on honeymoon.

Martin has turned out to be a great husband and father to our two sons. We are continually evolving as a power couple, so I’ll be first to say it doesn’t always smell like roses at the Chavarria home. The ego’s thorn is sharp and can give us a good prick or two, but that’s where the lessons lie and we continue to grow in wisdom and love.

Eight years later, I am guided by these words in my marriage: Love is not just a feeling…

Love is a choice.

We choose to ride love’s roller coaster with both hands clasped tightly and raised high for each dip, twist and turn. There’s only one motivation to keep riding…it’s the one that brought us together, the one that keeps us together…LOVE.

I leave you with a poem my once boyfriend, Martin wrote me:

“Cuando el amor autentico acarisia lo mas sagrado de nuestros corazones, sensaciones incontrolables conquistan los rincones mas escondidos de nuestros corazones.”

Translation: When the most sacred of our hearts is caressed by authentic love, uncontrollable sensations conquer the darkest corners of our hearts.

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