I write to empty my mind and to fill my heart. Writing is easy: just stare at the screen of your computer until a tear drops on your keyboard. -Paulo Coehlo
TweetMy Sexy Little Cup Runneth Over
The Current of Love Between Us
I have some pretty amazing women in my life. I see the beauty in each woman and do everything in my power to remind her of it. When presenting her, I want the world to see what I see- her beauty, humor, talent, intellect, her fragility, sexiness, style, ambition…simply, the power she possesses within herself.
I encourage her to dream, travel, get lost, find her way again, speak up, take that risk, walk away, bust some balls, leave that job, get a life of her own, fight for what’s right, plan a getaway, sit still, demand respect, be convivial, whatever she needs to do to express her power and intention to live.
Women and the dynamics of our interaction with one another can be a beautiful and scary thing.
It’s easy to confuse the friend you can be to others with the friend they can be to you. Once you distinguish and understand how far each friendship is suppose to go, how deep things can or cannot get, everything else is easy.
No more guessing how to feel, what to say, or how it’s suppose to turn out. You learn to let go and just sail…experiencing all the waves and unexpected bumps along the journey while taking in the amazing view that unfolds before you.
There was a time when it was important for me to be the first to know, to be called upon for that favor, expected her arrival at my special event, looked for her response in the mail, or hoped for a visit, and I remember the disappointments.
At times, I held back my best because of doubts or assumptions I’d made about a friend’s love for me. I remember the day I stopped making assumptions.
I was splitting time between friends while on a visit back home and wasn’t sure if I’d see one friend in particular. She’d been missing in action and I felt sad about not being in touch, even hurt that she didn’t look for me, but when I told her I was in town, she made plans to see me. I wasn’t sure how the visit would go, but when she arrived, I was caught off guard.
She had a huge smile across her face, immense joy and tears in her eyes, and offered me an embrace that was seemingly unending. She even brought me gifts! I was confused by her generosity, excitement and pure happiness. Previously, we’d been out of touch, not speaking about this unspoken distance and I was concerned for our friendship, but with sincere intention, she assured me of all her love for me.
I could see it, really feel it, and was humbled by it. I was appreciated as a person, as her friend.
Although she hadn’t been expressing how she felt in between visits, she was speaking loud and clear in this moment and that’s what mattered. That was all that ever mattered.
From that point on, I didn’t feel the need to be in constant contact, to be told every secret, to be visited or for her to be present at every milestone in my life…I just needed to know that she loved me, she really loved me and always wanted the best for me.
What a gust of wind to the already wide open doors of my heart. It was quite the epiphany and that wisdom gained has since helped me lift the burdens of expectation on my relationships, allowing me to truly live and let live.
Recently, I was reminded yet again of the love between friends and how electric the exchange can be. Upon returning home, there was a pretty package left for me at the front door. Completely surprised, I rushed in to see what awaited me and soon pulled out from under a plethora of tissue paper a sexy coffee mug filled with packets of Earl Grey tea, a coffee table book on Frida Kahlo, and a card that said, “You’ve been such a good friend to me…”
An expression of gratitude came about because one woman felt nurtured by another
and was therefore contributing to the pure love already flowing between the two of them. This moment turned precious memory inspired the desire for me to continue nourishing her with the best of me. I’m encouraged by such acts and wish for you to be part of the flow.
Immerse yourself in these currents of pure emotion and let your cup runneth over and spill into all the rivers, streams and lakes that make up your world of friends, then…watch it all return…back to you.
TweetLove thy fellow woman. She’s capable of listening to your heart’s every desire and offering you many surprises. Nurture nurture nurture.
TweetThe Source of Feeling
I have a feeling about a conversation I had today about God. It was passionate, but I succeeded in taming the flames of this incessantly burning lake of fire by bringing marijuana into the mix which caused quite a bit of laughter. Mary Jane and her gang weren’t there literally! Their presence was just an idea…
In discussing the Divine and staying open and respectful of each person’s unique interpretation of it, just as our own lives and personal experiences are, I talked about Moses and the burning bush. I said to my friend, “You see, when hearing the story about God speaking to Moses as a burning bush, that’s what you see,” and I pointed to a shrub that happened to be nearby, “but perhaps someone else hearing the same story may imagine that Moses himself may have been burning some bush,” and I gestured to my mouth as if smoking a little somethin’ somethin’. Bursts of laughter followed and I continued, “How are we to know if ‘bush’ was or wasn’t a term used for such things back then?” My intention was not meant to mock or cause confusion-there’s already enough of that- but instead to make light of a touchy subject and make the point that God is…formless, ever expanding, open to myriad interpretation, and therefore having respect and consideration for another person’s way of viewing the world is important to learn from one another and truly grow in wisdom.
In the midst of this ensuing debate, I posed the question, “Should God be an argument?” Is it a good idea for the words God and Argument to share the same space, the same sentence? It’s a paradox, an oxymoron. Slice that last word in half and what do you get? Yes, it’s moronic. Should you argue with others about God? Love thy neighbor, baby. Should you argue with yourself? Love thy God, -dess. Sounds just as crazy as talking to oneself. And answering oneself. But we’re constantly in search of answers. Hmm…makes me wonder about the intimate activity and art of writing. Call me crazy. I’m a writer.
Do you want to be taken seriously? Then get past doubting yourself by questioning everything and consciously choosing your own path. Be true to you. Be the source, the solution, the resolution to all your fruitless searches. Help yourself, but avoid confusing this for being the end-all-know-it-all. We need help in this life. You. Me. We. And being grateful and kind are key. When a feeling comes to you, go to the source of it and trust what it’s telling you. Stand firm in your own beliefs, but avoid finding offense with someone when your truth is not theirs (as in they don’t see or hear what you see or hear) and don’t worry if their “truth” doesn’t speak to you either. Find your path and walk it. In the words of Nietzsche, “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
Have faith in what is true for you, and if your way of hearing it is different from the masses, perhaps not even ringing from the pulpits of a church, it’s okay. If you’re eager, open, and willing to listen to what The Source of all Creation has planned for your ear (read: your life), then get ready for greatness! Be ready to receive the message, watch for the sign, wait for the teacher…whichever channel is meant for you will flow through to you. The resources are there, but you must be resourceful and reach up and out and all around to find what’s looking after you, looking for you. Wisdom to love and live in peace with oneself is the ultimate feat.
TweetTake The Stage
The Convivial Asshole
Over the weekend, I took my son to get his hair cut and got to talking with a man who was waiting to do the same with his two kids. He was a fit man with salt and pepper hair, stylishly dressed in khaki shorts and sandals, possibly in his late thirties.
Our young ones began coloring together, so Fit Dad and I chatted about raising boys and girls. He mentioned how he’d noticed an immediate difference when his daughter was born, how she set the tone for that gender distinction. Referring to their nature, he put it simply,
“Boys have physical needs and girls emotional ones.”
DING! I heard a light bulb go off in my head. Ain’t that the truth? Boys have the need for rough play, sports, action movies, sound effects and (shhh) S-E-X while girls need to talk, relate, connect, be made to feel special, protected, and especially need to be heard. Hello! Raising my hand here. It’s a must.
At one point in the conversation, one of the hairdressers was finishing up with a client, so Fit Dad stopped in mid-sentence and called out to her, saying, “Do you think we’ll be outta here in the next ten minutes?” She looked confused and slightly offended that he appeared to be rushing her. “You told me it’d be 20 minutes and it’s now been 35 minutes. We have somewhere to be,” he continued. The stylists glanced at each other, then returned to their scissors, customers hid behind their magazines, and I kicked back to enjoy the show.
We continued talking and it turned out Fit Dad was from Austin, Texas and it’s no surprise to me that his face lit up when I asked him, “So, how was it growing up there?” He had nothing but great things to say and I was intrigued to continue the conversation, but we were interrupted when the stylist called his number. He shuffled his son over and began telling her how he wanted his son’s hair cut, pointing to particular areas around his head to communicate his request.
When I heard and saw this man taking charge of the situation, you better believe he had my attention. My eyes remained fixed on him as I thought, Those ladies probably think he’s being an asshole. The others waiting probably think so too, but he doesn’t give a shit. As a straight shooter myself, I appreciated him for his ways. I was convinced that this man was “The Man” at home and at work, because he didn’t mince words.
He spoke with authority, was straight to the point and non-apologetic about it. I liked that, liked it a lot; in fact, it made me all tingly inside. Now now, before you get ahead of yourself, here’s why. I’m a gal who respects people who give it to me straight, who are real, to the point.
Such conversations call me, lure me, tickle my fanny.
Being frank is my best form of communication and many times, I’ve been made to feel bad about this strength (YES, it’s a strength because its me at my strongest) and I’ll admit to playing small at times and holding back my true kaboom for the sake of someone else’s weakness.
In a non-convivial world, it’s being bitchy, bossy, unappealing, worth ignoring. It’s where women aren’t encouraged to be loose with their tongue and therefore inadvertently try to avoid it to appease and please. Fuck that. We’ve got a lot to say.
In my world, speaking out means freedom.
There’s a great sense of confidence that accompanies one’s ability to be assertive. It takes time and guts to come as you are and not care what people think.
When all is said and done, that’s exactly how you get what you want in life. That’s how you get the life you want. It takes practice, faith in yourself, and permission. Who’s doing the permitting? You are! So go ahead and permit it, want it, speak it, live it.
Cheers to a great day of telling it like it is,
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City Girl Gone Gardening
City Girl Gone Gardening
The Artist, The Muse, & The Monologue
Come art, come art, wherever you are…
Art…are you out there?
You scare me.
Intrigue me.
Overwhelm me.
Calm me.
Love me.
Bestow upon me a great power.
Where oh where art thou my one and only inspiration? You are my other half.
Mi media naranja.
My everything.
My worst enemy. Wait.
Are you?
No.
We are each one’s beloved.
Yes.
That’s more like it.
What do you think of you?
The way you are forming, flowing,
shape-shifting from one word to another,
yes, do you see it all unveiling?
In these few moments,
as we journey together,
it is unnerving, yet unraveling before me.
You make your appearance
and I am happy to see,
and I am afraid,
but I trust in something beyond
you,
beyond
me,
so I can
watch and wait
to see
what you will become,
what you will turn out to be,
how you will represent me.
Are you me?
No.
But I see you. And you see me.
We simply know…
You come from within me.
Like a baby,
a seed I have been nourishing,
quietly,
without full understanding
and comprehension
and finally the moment arrives.
I give birth to you
and there you are,
fresh and new,
pure,
completely open and vulnerable,
yet untouchable.
Wisdom tells me to release you,
to let you flourish on your own.
How will you be seen?
That is not my concern.
You are part of me
yet
separate.
I am a channel. Simply.
Respectfully.
You are your own masterpiece.
As I am too.
Open Your Heart
Open Heart
What’s the Occasion?
Last night, I made a Ricotta Orange Pound Cake with Strawberries courtesy of the recipe by Food Network star, Giada De Laurentiis. Eager to share this experience, I decided to invite my parents over to enjoy cake and ice cream with my family. Sounds like a party! Indeed, it was. So, what was the occasion? Life. Plain and simple, I had a craving for something sweet, had all the tools and ingredients to create it, along with the best of intentions and love, so I didn’t hesitate to get my hands a little dirty. I took my time, followed instructions, and had faith that my efforts would pay off. And they did! Something as basic as my desire to bake turned into a deeper desire to “break bread” with the people I love. Now, that is an occasion to live for and the very essence of convivial living. It’s merry-making, having a fondness of feasting, drinking, and good company. That was my intention, and therefore my experience last night with the two people who gave me life, as well as the man and two sons who I love and with whom I share every bit of my world. Life is meant to be a convivial occasion, so the next time you think you need a specific reason to have a good time, think again. The occasion is your life and everyone in it. That’s reason enough to put on your convivial party dress (or apron) and get convivial with it!
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