Ambition
Take Your Dreams One Convivial Day at a Time
I’m at Starbucks trying to uncover the gems I seek for what will eventually become chapters of the convivial book I am writing.
I won’t pretend to be fearless. It scares me to say that I’m writing a book. Such a daunting task for a busy mama, but its what I desire.
I refuse to believe in the impossibility of my dreams.
It’s so easy to just exist, to get by, but defiantly creative spirits won’t let up and don’t get comfortable, so day by day, I take steps to be resourceful, to connect with people who can guide and be part of making this book a reality.
Declaring what you want to the world takes cojones and holds you accountable.
Once you make your dream known, you have a choice to follow through or disappoint…yourself. After all, that’s who you’re creating for, right? If that isn’t the focus, then forget it. Your art is not about anyone else but you. By being true to you, to your art, that’s how you serve others.
And the world- upon hearing your dream- now has the choice to believe you, (eagerly) watch you fail, or become part of the process. Ask for help. Show up for the unknown.
Failure is inevitable, a gift, something to embrace.
In Seth Godin’s book, Tribes, he says, “You’ve got to be willing to be wrong in order to be right all the other times in your life..” Words like that fire me up and make me want to go make a writing fool of myself…in private. If I show up and do the work, I’ll eventually clear the junk and find my treasure.
That’s how art and the process of creating it works. It’s hard to see the initial results of your labor, but if you keep faith behind your efforts, you’ll get to the good stuff.
I am in the beginning stages of this book project. Unfortunately, writing for me can’t begin until after 8pm each night, and I can’t always dedicate every day to creating a new sentence for the book, the blog, or simply for me, because family life takes first place, and many nights, my body fails me. My boys take a lot of my energy throughout the day, and even though I’ve got passion for this convivial empire brewing and bubbling beneath the surface, sometimes I just don’t have enough energy to keep going.
This is me, the convivial mama in action.
I’ve learned very quickly, and painfully, that you are nothing without your body. You must take care of it.
I used to stay up late into the night writing, researching, creating plans with my muse, but those days seem long gone. Nowadays, my body seems to crash around 3pm and I’ve not even done anything! It’s frustrating since the lack of energy cuts into my creative time. Scoliosis and a 34 degree curve in my lower back are the big culprits. I’m working to get that driving force of energy back. My next holistic move to heal myself is Cranio-sacral massage. I’ve been wanting to try it for years now. Intuition’s leading me there and I’m finally listening.
For now, I take it day by day. I avoid comparing myself to others who are birthing one creative project after another, because I know my story is not their story, and my path is my own. Being gentle with yourself is essential to pushing through the slow times, the times when you’re full of creative ideas, yet seemingly stagnant. It’s like you’re standing idle, in some imaginary, never-ending line, waiting for your turn to come.
This is every artist’s struggle: making the time and having the energy to create.
You get knocked down, find discouragement almost anywhere, at times lack clarity of vision, struggle with self-acceptance and self-belief, yet you keep at it, keep believing in what you are compelled to do, because that is what convivial minds who are artistically committed do.
Sometimes I don’t know why I feel the need to show up for the blank page and write my journey, sometimes I am not sure what difference it all is making, but I do it anyway, because I don’t know how NOT to write what I feel, what I believe, desire and dream. Some of it I share here, some I keep just for me, but I know one day, it will all come together. One day…this I believe.
Wishing you the best health for your next creation,
The Full Circle Experience, Artistic Achievement & Bradley Cooper’s Tears
The actor, Bradley Cooper. You’ve seen him play the a-hole preppy boyfriend in Wedding Crashers. If you’re a woman, you’ve definitely noticed his blue eyes, and would bypass an autograph any day to run your fingers through his dirty blond, wavy hair instead…right? Riiiiiiiight. And I have no doubt that you really became familiar with this actor after his brilliantly raunchy performance in the blockbuster hit, The Hangover. After that film, his star, um, shall we say, skyrocketed?
On a drive back home after visiting my grandfather in Odessa, I came across a video of this handsome actor making his first appearance on The Actor’s Studio. I’ve watched the likes of Johnny Depp, Tom Hanks, Angelina Jolie, and Steven Spielberg walk across the stage and share their experiences as actors, as artists, but more so, as the people they are deep down inside. So this is quite the accomplishment for the young, talented, still very much up-and-coming Bradley Cooper.
Host and creator of The Actor’s Studio, James Lipton covers the actors’ before and after stardom experience, insight into each person’s unique take on the creative process (which if you notice, many answers can apply to various aspects of life and art); he also inquires about the struggles and moments when the actor was simply like every other aspiring artist…committed and determined, many times uncertain…seemingly unrecognized, without fame, merely trying to find their way, their place, in this sometimes chaotic, constantly changing world.
We all want to hear these stories, because they humanize the artist and give us hope and motivation to tap into our own genius and push forward with our dreams.
I’m not an actor, and you may not be one either, but you are a creative human being who desires to create…something, for yourself, for others, for money, for nothing…you simply want to express the life and beating heart within you…to feel that you’re alive. By pairing that desire with outrageous self-belief, unstoppable will and a vast resourcefulness in your efforts, you can create any life, and accomplish anything.
The desire to create, to understand ourselves, the world, and share that openly with others is to understand life, to figure out our way in the world is fundamental to being human…
and I have no doubt that we can find inspiration is everyone’s experience and all learn from one another no matter what form of art they may be pursuing.
Watch Bradley Cooper’s full circle experience in artistic achievement come to life
He is overcome with emotion about his obvious success, in disbelief about where he is sitting, who he is talking to, and it is simply inspiring, endearing, and humbling to witness his pinch-me-’cause-this-can’t-be-real moment in time.
Bradley Cooper’s emotional return to the place where he learned to act. From March 14, 2011
Follow your heart…commit to your art,
P.S. The video is part I of a series of videos, so if you’re intrigued enough, just click through the sidebar afterward to find the rest. I hope you enjoy the video as much as I did! I just love this sort of inspirational stuff. Real life!
TweetArt & Existence: Making the Convivial Distinction for 2012
One year ago, I re-launched my website from the name Convivial Society to The Convivial Woman and during the month of January, I went on digital sabbatical to read and write to determine my site’s purpose and overall message. The theme that kept coming up in my notes was Art, a person’s need to express it, and the joys and struggles of doing so. As the year progressed, I somehow ignored that underlying theme and experienced confusion with my focus.
Was this my platform to preach to women about how they needed to conduct themselves as women? What kind of friends, mothers, wives they needed to be? Choices they should make in their lives? No, it wasn’t. It was simply a way to express myself creatively via the written word, the art form that chose me, but calling myself The Convivial Woman began to play tricks on my mind and make me feel a little self-righteous. Like any stage name, there’s a persona that comes with it and I was still trying to figure out the difference so I could play my part right. I wasn’t here to fake anything.
Recently, I’ve made the distinction:
The Convivial Woman is to me what Sasha Fierce is to Beyonce- the muse, a name given the creative power that comes from within and drives you to create and release your art into the world. I am Cheryl Chavarria, the writer also known as The Convivial Woman. Period.
Clarity of purpose, of vision, of thy self makes you an unstoppable force.
The Convivial Woman does not exist to impose some idea of what the perfect woman should be, or tell women how to behave, how to save themselves, their relationships, or how to love and better support one other, though we desperately need more mentoring of women by women.
The Convivial Woman represents something grander. She represents Art…the creation of it and the defiant spirit that accompanies it. She exists to praise and promote human creativity and the idea that a work of art resides within each of us.
It’s about the art of convivial living, which centers around discovering the art and life within you, and making the conscious choice to express it as only YOU can do.
2012 is going to be a Work of A.R.T.
This year, The Convivial Woman is going to be all about making A Return To creative origins. For me that’s writing. What is it for you?
My focus is to write about how I lead, not necessarily how to lead, a convivial life, and what the art of convivial living means to me as I dedicate myself to the practice and creation of art, as well as the struggles that come with it.
In making the choice to follow your art, you will come to know your power and live a convivial life, for life itself is art. Whether it be a book, a business, blog, necklace, cake, lesson plan, a baby, new body / life for yourself, or even a simple meal for your family, it requires the courage to create. If you’re heart is in it, then it’s bound to be art worth admiring.
You are a Masterpiece. Live accordingly.
This is the message of The Convivial Woman, what I’m inspired to live by, and want to share with you. By pursuing my heart’s desire to write, I hope to encourage you to do the same, whatever your art may be, for that is the journey we share.
Go forth and create your reality,
The Art of Convivial Living
Hello kindred spirits. It’s been a while since my last “inscription.” WARNING: This blog is the mother of all blogs I’ve written. I’m playing catch up to cap off the year so hold tight and hang with me for a moment. I have much to say.
Since announcing my move to Austin, I’ve been quite the gypsy mama, traveling back and forth from Dallas to Austin. My husband and I have been on the house hunt since renting out our home in November and haven’t hit gold yet, but I’m patient and holding out for the most convivial home of them all. It’s out there and I’m ready to plant my feet on the grounds of the State Capitol of Texas, or somewhere close enough.
Changes are brewing on the convivial home front…
This being in limbo, not knowing where my family will hang their hat and call home screws with a lot. With any kind of move you make, there is no way it cannot change you, and it definitely plays tricks on your mind.
I like to know where I’m going, what the plan is, a woman who, as one friend put it, “requires a lot of answers,” and when there are so many unknowns, well, I’m gonna get antsy, uncomfortable, and I’ll do my best to keep my irritability in check, but I can’t guarantee it.
Not knowing where I’m settling causes unsettling feelings about what to plan for, what to talk about, and it’s created some resistance about writing- really just blogging. You see, I’m a perfectionist (I know…I’m working on letting up) and I put these expectations on myself to crank out a “masterpiece” and share something worthwhile, something profound, and eye-opening, with you, every time. And yet it’s a blog. But it’s much more for me. (more…)
TweetAre You Mad Enough to Live?
R.E.M. sings about shiny, happy people holding hands and it’s a song that can stir me to sway back and forth with arms flowing upward, but having everyone put on a happy face and use flowery words when things are tough or uncertain isn’t what gets my ass moving to create change in my world.
I’ve got to dislike something, feel uncomfortable, lost, violated, offended, cheated, unappreciated, held back, all that good stuff in order for me to react. The straight-shooters, the ones who don’t deal well in sugar-coating a situation, who don’t mince words and “ponder on things”, the ones who go after a solution, a goal, a seemingly unrealistic dream with fierce determination are the people who speak to me, and the ones who truly get me.
This is the same breed of “response-able” people that beat writer, Jack Kerouac describes below…
“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!'” -Jack Kerouac
I’m reminded of one mad friend who gets mistaken for being angry when people first meet him. Funny thing is, if asked how he’s doing by the same people, he’ll say in his deep, slightly intimidating Vin Diesel-like voice, “I’m happy as shit.”
Does it make sense to compare happiness to shit? I’d say, if you choose to be content amidst apparent chaos, that’s a show of strength and wisdom, but don’t confuse it for a person who wears a permanent smile to cover up reality. Face the facts, then take your faith, courage, and will to act and get through the situation or change it altogether.
Sometimes, my husband uses the word “madness” when describing my anger and secretly, I like it because…
Life is madness…especially as a woman and I make every attempt to rebel every day.
I encourage you to do the same! Question your place. Don’t play the game. Want more…less…better, but never whatever. Speak up. Learn when to offer someone love vs. truth (psst…your honest opinion is only appreciated when it is solicited).
Put attention to your desires and all the fear that accompanies them, then…stir the pot, rock some boats, and do something about it. The Convivial Woman is all about seeing some jaws drop, aren’t you?
Speaking of the desire/fear combo, did you know I’m writing a book? The Convivial Woman, a compilation of stories and cheeky wisdom from one sensual, sublimely complex woman to another. Yes, it’s in the making, so stay tuned! And remember…
You are a masterpiece. Live…mad.
For news on The Convivial Woman book project, event news for The Convivial Supper Club (soon to be launching in my new homebase of Austin, Texas baby!), and special offerings, get your name on my one and only convivial list! And you can’t forget to join the convivial party and conversation on Facebook or follow your interests on Twitter too!
TweetNew word for the Convivial Lexicon: Experimenteurship + My Adventures in Life Coaching
“View everything you do as an experiment. The purpose of an experiment is to gather data, to learn something you didn’t know before. The beauty of viewing everything you do as an experiment is that you can never fail. There is no such thing as failure, only opportunity to learn, grow, and renew your determination.” -Susan Page
Recently, entrepreneurial rocker chica, Sally Hope gave credit to @tmfproject on facebook and twitter for saying, “Entrepreneurship should be called “Experimenteurship,” since that’s really what it is.” When I read that line, I could totally relate, because I’m an entrepreneur in my soul and am constantly experimenting. It’s not always easy to give something new a try, let alone tell the masses, “Hey! I’m going to do this,” and then after some time dabbling in it, change your mind.
This new word in my convivial lexicon, Experimenteurship, sparks a memory of the day (more…)
TweetFarewell Violet Eyes: In Remembrance of Elizabeth Taylor
Wow. She’s gone. Like, today.
I was visiting some friends this morning and popped open the laptop to check on an event we were discussing and BAM, right there on the Yahoo homepage,
Elizabeth Taylor: 1932-2011.
GASP! My jaw dropped and I announced the shocking news to my friends.
Then…a cold chill ran through my body and I had to suddenly hold back a rush of tears to my eyes.
Of course, at her age, it was bound to happen, but it’s still heartbreaking.
Elizabeth Taylor. An American Icon. What a loss.
Farewell violet eyes,
Taking The Stage, Fear and All
In a Ted Talk given by Sarah Kay of Project V.O.I.C.E., she recites two poems and speaks candidly about the power of the written word spoken aloud. There was a moment during her talk when her nervousness was evident; she was even bold enough to call herself out on it while on stage. I’m sure I wasn’t the only person to connect with her in that moment when she showed us her humanity.
Her sense of playfulness, energy and spirit resonated on a deep level with me, and although she’s a seasoned spoken word artist, she still experiences nerves on stage, but no matter the fear, she does it anyway.
Performing ones words on a stage is risky business.
I do it here and occasionally exit this virtual stage for a real one at say a workshop, networker or a convivial gathering. Every time I think of getting up in front of people, I imagine all chairs screeching so audience members can get a better look at me, and the nerves come out to play, but…I do it anyway. I recognize that one aspect of my discomfort in having all eyes on me is the introvert in me, but thankfully, I’m affable and can balance it out. The bigger part is simply a matter of more practice. Just as babies don’t walk out of the womb, neither should we think our fear of the unknown or stepping out in front of people to do what it is we do (or want to do) can be overcome in an instant or banished altogether.
We never stop fearing. We only get better and bolder at facing it. (more…)
TweetConvivial Cameo: Karie Hill, Financial Freedom Coach
“There are three crucial types of education: Academic education- reading, writing and basic math; Professional education- the skills to work for money; and Financial education- the skills to have money work for you. Which of the three were you taught?” -Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad, Poor Dad
Today, my Convivial Interview series begins! I’m going to be featuring some amazing women who personally influence and inspire me. You can look forward to these women’s stories of how they’re making tough choices, taking risks, and pushing through the glass ceilings of self-limitation in their minds to create meaningful lives for themselves and others. Stop by each Monday for the next month for all new, inspiring interviews. Let’s get started!
In November 2010, I attended Rich Happy & Hot LIVE with Marie Forleo in New York City and met a beautiful woman from the Chicago area named, Karie Hill. On a break, we got to talk and I asked her about the work she was doing in the world and she said, “I practice Financial Well-being and teach others how to do the same.” As the Chavarria family CFO, an ex-banker-turned-entrepreneur, and Convivial Life Strategist, my eyes lit up as I envisioned the worlds Karie could rock for the better.
Meet the woman behind KDH Financial, Karie Hill 
and see why I believe her work can change so many people’s lives, including yours… (more…)
TweetBehold The Unveiling: Convivial Society relaunches as The Convivial Woman
Ladies and Gentlemen,
It’s the most anticipated event we’ve all been waiting for…
Relaunch Day for TheConvivialWoman.com!
Before you make your way around the site for a peep at what’s new, I’d like to share a personal message on audio with you, but first, this quote…
“The work of art is another human mind incarnate; not in the flesh and blood, but in sounds, words, or colors.” -The Art Instinct: Beauty, Pleasure, Evolution
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO MY WORDS & MORE
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As The Convivial Woman, I am here to say…
Every woman is a masterpiece.
An extravagantly unique & inimitable creation. Her very existence is a great work of art.
And ask the question…
So, how do you treat a work of art?
It’s my personal commitment to live the answer…
With dignity. Reverence. A sense of majesty. And a sense of humor.
My desire is to inspire the same in you.
I’m all about Convivial Living…
joyful connecting, conscious action, and uncompromising self-care, and I plan to fill this space with a plethora of refined word gems to demonstrate that. When you make a conscious choice to see and treat yourself as a work of art, you inevitably create a life of artful intention for you and the world around you. That’s what we’re here to do.
“I’m not a businessman. I’m a business, man.” -Jay-Z
The Convivial Woman is not only my artform, it’s also the work I’ve been called to do in the form of articles, lifestyle guides, 1 on 1 strategizing sessions (think: creative brainstorming/dream accountability partnerships), intimate workshops and travel retreats. To receive updates, news and special links and offers on events as they happen, sign up here.
To celebrate my shape-shifting nature along with this grandiose day, stay tuned for an extra special blog post tomorrow, then join me for a series of Convivial Interviews starting this Monday, March 14 where I’ll feature some amazing women (and men!) who inspire me. We’ll talk about life, love, entrepreneurship, spirituality and share tips on breaking free from self-limitation. They’ll also share how they are making the very personal choice to show up in the world and give you a sneak peek into their convivial lives, as well. It’s gonna be fun!
If you haven’t done so yet…
Become a member of The Convivial Society
– now known as my monthly newsletter- to receive important links, event news, and personal messages from me. Drop your name in the hat right here.
I’d love to interact and know more about you, so honor me with your presence and LIKE my Facebook fanpage or follow me on Twitter as well.
Join me for tomorrow’s very first blog post as www.TheConvivialWoman.com- I’m calling it Up Your Convivial Game because that’s what each new day calls us to do. You can come back on your own or have it delivered directly to your inbox.
Now go ahead and peek behind the imaginary turquoise curtain and take a stroll around the newly revamped site to get to know more about me and what I am offering. Convivial times await you and I…
With fierce admiration,
Cheryl Chavarria
P.S. I’d love for you to say hello with a comment on the blog (below), or on facebook and twitter so I know you honored me with your presence!
P.P.S. If you want to finish jamming to that song I shared in the relaunch memo, CLICK FOR SONG HERE. See you tomorrow!
TweetYou’ve Got What It Takes To Set Me Free
A beautiful, blue-eyed Canadian once sang…”I’m like a bird…I want to fly away…I don’t know where my soul is…I don’t know where my home is…”
Well, my soul has found her home, but instead of a bird, she’s more like an indigo-colored caterpillar, chillin’ in a turquoise cocoon, waiting for the right moment to break free and showcase her new design and purpose. Of course, I’m talking about Convivial Society’s metamorphosis into what will soon be known ’round the world as The Convivial Woman website.
Are you ready for her relaunch on Wednesday 9 March 2011?
(That’s only two weeks away!)
Have you signed up for the official Launch Newsletter?
BAM! Signup list HERE.
So, the name of the site is changing, the site’s design will get a facelift, and I am thrilled to share it all with you! There’s tons in store to kick off this grand transition and you don’t want to miss out!
As I finalize the message in this holy holy space of mine, I leave you with a song that seems well-suited for this convivial moment in time:
Nelly Furtado’s Say it Right. Because Lord knows I want to!
TweetThe PowerHouse Series: Megan Monique Interviews Me
Can you imagine standing in the middle of a football field with friday night lights flashing on you? No one in the stands, no one on the field, just you and everything significant about your life being cast in the spotlight for the world to see.
Could you imagine if there was someone or something out there that could give your life such an illuminating effect? How amazing, enlightening and oh so much fun that would be! Well, guess what? I know someone who is a Life Illuminator and she’s my friend, Megan Monique Harner.
She’s been featured on here once before as a very special model for The Convivial Woman Photography Project: Episode 2 and she offers Life Illumination Courses to anyone who wants to take a magnifying glass to see how wondrous their life already is. I’ve had the chance to peek at some of her course activities and they are really cool. What’s cooler is her course lasts a whole month!
Megan offered me the sweetest gig one Friday afternoon. She asked me to participate in her PowerHouse Series of interviews. Moi? A PowerHouse? But of course! Lights, camera, action! I must say we shared quite the convivial moment together and I’m pleased to share the video here:
The PowerHouse Series with Cheryl Chavarria from MeganMonique on Vimeo.
Get to know Megan Monique Harner by following her on twitter @meganmonique and make sure to check out her Life Illumination Courses if you’re up for some fun self-discovery.
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