Clarity
5 Natural Remedies for a Convivial Woman’s Depression
Hey Convivial world of mine!
It’s been 3 months and I’m back. At least, I think it’s been that long since I last felt my true self.
Confession: I think I experienced depression for the first time.
I actually googled the symptoms and had many of them. Fatigued. Check. Hard time getting out of bed to face the day. Check. Preferred extreme isolation to socialization. Yup. Lack of focus and clarity. Writers block. A sense of hopelessness. All there in the imaginary dark room with me.
Having the sudden blues from one moment to the next. Oh yeah. Not being able to tear myself away from episode after episode of Mob Wives and Basketball Wives. Yikes! One could argue and say I was doing “research” to better understand the dynamics of female relationships, but I’m not one to shit ya…THAT’S when I knew something was seriously wrong!
I’m a full-time mama who is committed to nurturing her individuality, the writer in her, and building a convivial brand of her own
BUT I do the writing and empire building once my little bambinos hit the hay. It’s not always an easy feat, it can get overwhelming, and all three adventures (mama, writer, entrepreneur) take a ton of practice and patience.
Word to ya muthas: There’s no place like the home we make and no such thing as “life balance.” Don’t quote me on that, I’m just living it. I continue to juggle and drop occasional balls, but the key is learning to pick up your delicate heart along with all the balls and keep juggling. My own lessons continue and I just want to be brave enough to write about them here.
The Scoop on how things went down…low. (more…)
TweetNew word for the Convivial Lexicon: Experimenteurship + My Adventures in Life Coaching
“View everything you do as an experiment. The purpose of an experiment is to gather data, to learn something you didn’t know before. The beauty of viewing everything you do as an experiment is that you can never fail. There is no such thing as failure, only opportunity to learn, grow, and renew your determination.” -Susan Page
Recently, entrepreneurial rocker chica, Sally Hope gave credit to @tmfproject on facebook and twitter for saying, “Entrepreneurship should be called “Experimenteurship,” since that’s really what it is.” When I read that line, I could totally relate, because I’m an entrepreneur in my soul and am constantly experimenting. It’s not always easy to give something new a try, let alone tell the masses, “Hey! I’m going to do this,” and then after some time dabbling in it, change your mind.
This new word in my convivial lexicon, Experimenteurship, sparks a memory of the day (more…)
TweetA Continual Test of Strength: Speaking Up For Yourself
I’m lucky enough to have friends I can look in the face and with whom I can be completely honest.
I’m the kind of personality that doesn’t want to condition people to simply tell me what they think I want to hear.
I want the truth. Even if sometimes it’s not pretty.
For that reason, I use to think that being completely honest with someone, even if what I was saying was hard to handle, was showing that person respect, but not everyone is on the same wavelength. What I continually learn through experience is to
know when to share the truth and when to simply offer love.
I don’t always get it right every time, but my intention is there.
In today’s video, (yes, I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted a video!) I talk with my dear friend, Nina about this whole business of speaking your truth and letting people know where you stand- politely, of course. We’re all continually evolving and learning, so I hope our discussion serves you well and I encourage you to share your thoughts and experiences on the subject!
We all learn from one another if we’re willing to share.
NOTE: There is a lot of background noise which I tried to minimize with iMovie, but that would’ve minimized our voices too, so please forgive my lack of film editing skills and the background noise and try to focus on us! I’ll get better with time and practice.
P.S. Gotta love those screen shot expressions lol
Convivially yours,
Tweet
3 Tips To Fight The Funk
I had plans to visit a friend today, but she was sweet enough to let me know that she was not in the best of moods and wouldn’t be the best of company. How considerate. Really. It is.
I was going to respond via text to lift her spirits with some convivial tips, but instead, decided to dedicate this blog post to her bad mood and give my recommendations here.
Tip 1: Understand and accept that it’s okay to want to be left alone and to express it if you need to.
If the other person on the other side doesn’t understand, well then, I guess they’ve never been in a bad mood before. Do your best not to take it personally and make the situation about your own feelings and emotions. You’ll spare yourself a lot of heartache and misunderstandings.
Tip 2: Go Erin Brokovich on their asses- if you need to.
Or you could just practice going off in the privacy of your own home or in your journal. Expressing yourself by way of cursing can lift your spirits. So long as you’re not the one getting cursed at! Don’t believe me? Read on…
Cursing is a proven way to relieve pain
Yes, proven! Read this TIME Magazine article and be convinced.
I found myself letting some f-bombs explode this morning while talking with two of my dearest friends. I was feeling frustrated and didn’t hesitate to sprinkle in a good helping of the f-word and the mother of all f-words. When my friends validated my feelings by listening, the mood had passed. NOTE: Choose your audience wisely…save this type of free speech for folks who won’t be easily offended or judge your language.
I used to feel guilty that I might sound un-lady-like or that I was giving into a negative energy, but fuck that. I drop ’em like it’s hot now, because it makes me feel tingly where I’m feeling fiery. I’m well aware that these tips may not be for everyone, so if you’re too (fill in the blank) for all this freedom of speech, well, then you can just go and…
Tip 3: Occupy your mind by doing something that you enjoy or you know you’re really good at.
You’ll distract your mind for a good while and even boost your confidence back up, which thus results in a better sense of self and – et voila!- good mood. You’ll be back to good ole you in no time!
That’s all folks! Feel better and be good to yourself!
Late Night Visions: The Convivial Woman in Me
When I take the time to get out of my head and go deep into my heart’s memory of who the Convivial Woman is in me, these are the visuals for memories that come to the surface:
The caring granddaughter having a laugh on the phone with her 76-year-old badass, take-no-shit- grandfather who stands at 4’11”.
The girl dancing barefoot on the dancefloor to salsa and merengue with hands intertwined with fellow booty-shaking girlfriend or husband who knows how to make it “look like” he knows how to dance salsa and merengue
The cousin who tells the best scary campfire stories, cracks jokes and exudes pure love for her family and feels like a superstar when she’s around them
The wife who will stand her ground and tell her husband like it is when she needs to, then smack his ass ’cause she likes it and knows he does too (TMI? wink wink)
The same woman who will respect the hell out of her man when he stands his ground, puts her in her place, and later returns to reassure her of his love (Ahh…the love quarrel)
The girl who is uncertain about what to do or say to comfort dear friend crying before her; dear friend asks for a tissue and the girl accidentally lightens the mood by bringing the whole roll of toilet paper
The daughter who has the best laughs (shoulders shaking and e’erthang) while people watching with her Dad
The same daughter who can envision tag-teaming with her mother in a wrestling match any day because of their combined ball-busting spirit (NOTE: my feisty mama takes after her father and stands a 4’11” too)
The mother who stands with arms crossed and big smile as she watches over her young sons while they play wrestle or “fence” with the kitchen utensils that go along with the mechanical mixer
The sister who sticks peanuts up her nose on family road trips and freaks out when one gets lodged too far up
The SAME sister who freaks out when her hand gets stuck in pool tables in motels while on family vacation
The young woman who wore fitted black bodysuits and bright red pencil skirts with platform shoes on the sabbath…yeah, I was keeping it holy alright
The woman who brought both her sons into the world with determination and absolute courage and personal strength
The girl who’s a blossoming Spanish (as a second language) speaker and causes a small crowd at the dinner table to laugh when she’s asked her age and she replies, “Diez y Eight”
The woman who plans her exit from a corporate job to write, loses herself, then finds and recreates herself again and again with the help and vision of one word…convivial.
Ahhh…my heart’s memory is a turquoise jewel which has made “breaking night” so worth the lack of sleep. So much more to tap into, but I’ll save it for another day.
Stay tuned this week for the last part to my 3-part blog series titled “Up” Your Convivial Game!
Ciao Ciao Convivial World,
5 Tips For Getting The Most Out of Your Apology
Recently, I came across Marie Forleo’s video on “How to Give Good Apology,” where she talks about a famous two-letter word we should avoid when wanting to make amends with someone.
Let me tell you, when it comes to committing social blunders or slips of the tongue, I’m your girl! Just like my guy, Lloyd Dobler in the movie, Say Anything (my all-time fave film), I too suffer on occasion from that “nervous talking thing” or as Marie put it, diarrhea of the mouth. The shit just comes out wrong sometimes! A friend of mine calls those “Cheryl” moments.
Bottom line, I’ve had my fair share of fallouts and have made and still make silly mistakes with people, but after a few days of smacking myself upside the head, I forgive myself, because I know I mean well.
For this reason, I didn’t hesitate to hear Marie’s take on a proper apology and as a bonus, I decided to add my two cents on the general conversation of conflict resolution.
In the following video, I share with you the process I go through when it’s time to humble myself and offer up an apology.
NOTE: I filmed on the fly so forgive the “uhhs” and “umms” on my part. I was anxious to hear you say “Ahaaa”.
Just click below and watch me break it down for ya!
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To find out what that word is that Marie was talking about, watch her video here.
