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Taking Off My Convivial Cloak + The End Of An Era

It’s starting to hit me and I can’t believe it. My oldest son is going to kindergarten in five days, which means this is the last week ever that he’ll be home as he has been…hence, a new chapter begins for the both of us. Excuse me while I run for a tissue.

By choice, my personal life doesn’t always translate onscreen, but today I’m pulling back the turquoise-colored curtains and opening the windows to air out some details. To start…

I’m going to temporarily remove my convivial cloak and reveal something…

As a self-proclaimed convivial woman, someone who wants to live fully and find presence in the things, people, places, and activities that bring me joy, there’s another side to me.

Behind the scenes of this whole Convivial vision and online world of mine, I have been living another life and its not always pretty or interesting…GULP…it’s been the life of a (more…)

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The Best Thing A Father Can Do For His Children

When I was 16, I wrote this quote in my journal…

The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother. -John Wooden

At that time, I didn’t know why those words were special enough to write down, but now I do. (more…)

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The Art of Convivial Living

Hello kindred spirits. It’s been a while since my last “inscription.” WARNING: This blog is the mother of all blogs I’ve written. I’m playing catch up to cap off the year so hold tight and hang with me for a moment. I have much to say.

Since announcing my move to Austin, I’ve been quite the gypsy mama, traveling back and forth from Dallas to Austin. My husband and I have been on the house hunt since renting out our home in November and haven’t hit gold yet, but I’m patient and holding out for the most convivial home of them all. It’s out there and I’m ready to plant my feet on the grounds of the State Capitol of Texas, or somewhere close enough.

Changes are brewing on the convivial home front…

This being in limbo, not knowing where my family will hang their hat and call home screws with a lot. With any kind of move you make, there is no way it cannot change you, and it definitely plays tricks on your mind.

I like to know where I’m going, what the plan is, a woman who, as one friend put it, “requires a lot of answers,” and when there are so many unknowns, well, I’m gonna get antsy, uncomfortable, and I’ll do my best to keep my irritability in check, but I can’t guarantee it.

Not knowing where I’m settling causes unsettling feelings about what to plan for, what to talk about, and it’s created some resistance about writing- really just blogging. You see, I’m a perfectionist (I know…I’m working on letting up) and I put these expectations on myself to crank out a “masterpiece” and share something worthwhile, something profound, and eye-opening, with you, every time. And yet it’s a blog. But it’s much more for me. (more…)

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Behold: The Official Anthem of The Convivial Woman

It’s a great day when you hear a song that touches you, speaks to your heart, expresses how you feel or want to feel.

I’m writing at 6:45am, because 1) I haven’t been able to sleep all night, and 2) I’ve finally stolen time away for myself to share this news:

I’m officially adopting a song for The Convivial Woman!

First, let me tell you which songs it will NOT be: (more…)

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A Continual Test of Strength: Speaking Up For Yourself

I’m lucky enough to have friends I can look in the face and with whom I can be completely honest.

I’m the kind of personality that doesn’t want to condition people to simply tell me what they think I want to hear.

I want the truth. Even if sometimes it’s not pretty.

For that reason, I use to think that being completely honest with someone, even if what I was saying was hard to handle, was showing that person respect, but not everyone is on the same wavelength. What I continually learn through experience is to

know when to share the truth and when to simply offer love.

I don’t always get it right every time, but my intention is there.

In today’s video, (yes, I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted a video!) I talk with my dear friend, Nina about this whole business of speaking your truth and letting people know where you stand- politely, of course. We’re all continually evolving and learning, so I hope our discussion serves you well and I encourage you to share your thoughts and experiences on the subject!

We all learn from one another if we’re willing to share.

NOTE: There is a lot of background noise which I tried to minimize with iMovie, but that would’ve minimized our voices too, so please forgive my lack of film editing skills and the background noise and try to focus on us! I’ll get better with time and practice.

P.S. Gotta love those screen shot expressions lol

Convivially yours,

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On the day you were born…

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” -Rajneesh

The photo you see is my belly when I was pregnant with my first son back in 2007 (just tilt your head to the left and you’ll see it right!)

I decided to post the photo this way, because it makes me think of the earth, a globe, and to me, that looks like mother nature’s hands keeping the world in tact. ‘Cause you know that’s what us mamas do!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.

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5 Tips For Getting The Most Out of Your Apology

Recently, I came across Marie Forleo’s video on “How to Give Good Apology,” where she talks about a famous two-letter word we should avoid when wanting to make amends with someone.

Let me tell you, when it comes to committing social blunders or slips of the tongue, I’m your girl! Just like my guy, Lloyd Dobler in the movie, Say Anything (my all-time fave film), I too suffer on occasion from that “nervous talking thing” or as Marie put it, diarrhea of the mouth. The shit just comes out wrong sometimes! A friend of mine calls those “Cheryl” moments.

Bottom line, I’ve had my fair share of fallouts and have made and still make silly mistakes with people, but after a few days of smacking myself upside the head, I forgive myself, because I know I mean well.

For this reason, I didn’t hesitate to hear Marie’s take on a proper apology and as a bonus, I decided to add my two cents on the general conversation of conflict resolution.

In the following video, I share with you the process I go through when it’s time to humble myself and offer up an apology.

NOTE: I filmed on the fly so forgive the “uhhs” and “umms” on my part. I was anxious to hear you say “Ahaaa”.

Just click below and watch me break it down for ya!
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To find out what that word is that Marie was talking about, watch her video here.

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A Convivial Little Christmas

T’was the night before Christmas and all was aglow with the love and light that shined in my heart. It was the first time I was hosting a holiday dinner for my family.

We had the option to spend Christmas in colorful, colonial San Miguel de Allende or the cow tipping mini-country of Odessa,Texas (yeehaw!) where all our relatives would congregate, but we decided to pass on the big holiday gatherings and stay home to bask in the joy and company of just the four of us.

White candles burned brightly throughout my home and it was beginning to smell a lot like… (more…)

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A Convivial Love Affair

Today marks the 8th Wedding Anniversary for my husband, Martin and I. To commemorate this sacred day, here’s our story…

We met on Halloween Day 1998. I vaguely recall his face, but clearly remember his spirit. It was convivial. Our first dance was to a song called, Oye Mi Amor (Hey My Love) by the Spanish Rock group, Mana. We jumped wildly and danced together while belting out these lyrics: Hey my love…don’t tell me no…let’s get together…and join our souls…join our bodies…

To listen to the full song, CLICK HERE.

I didn’t want to give him my number, because I had strictly gone out that night with the intention to dance my ass off and walk away with the memory of it all. Fortunately, I broke my own rule. Something in him called something in me. It was never about appearances with us, but instead this sense of being high on life and experiencing an energy so contagious that we couldn’t ignore the potential for more opportunities together. I felt light on my feet as I thought

Hmm…he’s interesting…I’m interesting…we could be interesting together.

The chemistry was there from the get-go. I felt extremely vulnerable around him. I’m not someone to open up so quickly, but Martin broke me of that. He could see me in ways I wasn’t ready for him to see. (more…)

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XO Hugs and Kisses XO

Recently, I spent a family day at The Nasher Sculpture Center located in downtown Dallas with my husband and two sons and snapped this photo. I didn’t catch the name of the artist or of the sculpture, so forgive that missing detail, but this rock-turned-work of art speaks volumes of what we crave in our lives every day- love, comfort, compassion, acceptance, understanding, and refuge. The fact that an image so simple can pull on the human eye and tug at the heart is undeniable proof of this truth.

You can see the reflection of my husband carrying our firstborn son in the glass as we all looked on in admiration of this beautiful yet simple piece. My hubby wants to create a replica of this image in our own backyard and I don’t doubt his ability to do so. We’re all artists in our own unique way– it just takes encouragement and belief in oneself. I’m curious to know what materials my husband will use to construct his piece, but we shall see. Once the project is complete, I’ll be sure to share a photo of it with you.

Hugs and kisses to the artist in you.

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Giving Into Reverie

Staring out the window that overlooks my garden, I see the trees rustling in the wind and soon find myself in a state of instant reverie. A stream of thought flows through, causing me to recollect on various experiences in my life when I’ve felt disappointed in myself and in others.

For the most part, when I wasn’t happy, I walked away, but there have been many instances when I stuck around, tried to pull me and the other person through a tough or awkward time with the hopes that something could change, that I could help in some way, that I could understand my experience better.

Just when I thought my stream of consciousness was coming to an end, this message came through to me:

When you finally learn to listen to your heart and follow its lead, everything changes within you and around you.

I was so compelled by the sound of these words that I had to share them. I thought about the many ways to apply this truth: receiving new people into my life, overcoming negative thought patterns, facing my fears, taking on new challenges, leaving behind less than favorable circumstances and sometimes people contributing to those circumstances, forgiving myself and others for lack of wisdom in trying times, and oh so many more.

Letting my heart lead me in action means I am no longer a slave to my thoughts about a particular situation, person, experience and when I am no longer enslaved by thought, then my ego is dead and no harm or hurt can come or be done.

I’m not the first or the last person to experience toxicity of the mind, body and spirit, but I know I can minimize it by taking the time and action needed to release it…to be released.

Learning to distinguish between experiences that matter and ones that don’t can be a constant and conscious life practice.
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Being a follower of the heart can cure so much, perhaps almost anything. The definitive results are love and that’s all anyone or anything needs, right?

If your heart moves you to do something, do it.

If your heart tells you to let go, let go.

If your heart wants you to walk away, walk away.

Opportunity abounds when it comes to finding peace in your heart and letting yourself live out loud. When you find a message speaking to you, give it the attention it deserves because you deserve it. When you do that, ohh the places you’ll go…the people you’ll know.

Surrender is not only a beautiful word, but just as beautiful an experience.

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Say Anything

In need of a feel-good moment, something that really warms the heart? How about the experience of my all-time favorite movie?! I saw it for the first time at thirteen and haven’t stopped loving or watching it. I could have it on just as background noise; that’s how much I love it. It was the early 90’s and I was a thirteen-year-old girl on summer vacation looking for a dare to be great situation. I walked to VideoTek, the local video store in Chicago’s Bucktown neighborhood, neon lights on the front window and everything, and hand-picked the movie right off the shelf. Here’s the trailer to Say Anything. If it calls you, watch the movie. To know Lloyd Dobler is to love him. Everyone needs to know Lloyd Dobler. Drop a comment and let me know what you think!

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